Barbie Boys Beware!

Got a kid who likes to play with dolls? Dr. Phil’s advice for parents like Robby, whose five-year-old son likes playing with girl toys and wearing girl clothes. DON’T LET HIM. Like a fucktwat.

Robby’s 5-year-old son loves to play with Barbies and prefers wearing girl’s clothes. She asks Dr. Phil how to deal with this behavior, which she doesn’t think is normal. "There are developmental stages in kids and it is not unusual, particularly for young boys, to experiment and get stuck on certain stimulus items," says Dr. Phil. Particularly because the little boy has two older sisters, he says, it’s not unusual. This is not a precursor to your son being gay," explains Dr. Phil. He’ll know that in time, but this is not an indication of his sexual orientation.

Dr. Phil tells Robby that she has a job to do: "Direct your son in an unconfusing way. Don’t buy him Barbie dolls or girl’s clothes. You don’t want to do things that seem to support the confusion at this stage of the game … Take the girl things away, and buy him boy toys.” Most importantly, he tells Robby, "Support him in what he’s doing, but not in the girl things."

That’s right, parents. Don’t worry that your gender confused son is going to turn into a big gay. But do what you can to try and prevent it by forcing him to abandon the toys and dress he is naturally drawn to, and force him to do something more butch or he will end up like the lads below!

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGAKjY2gyqI
 

Remember when CNN had clinical psychologist Jeff Gardere on its program to address Sarah’s five-year-old son who chose a Daphne Scooby Doo costume for Halloween, and Gardere called it "the worst nightmare of both the heterosexual and the gay couples to have to fathom that their child may be gay"? (And then apologized for it?) That’s the same fear mongering Dr. Phil is feeding in to.

Kids experimenting with gender roles is completely normal. And in particular, it is around age four and five when children begin understanding — at least on a surface level — what makes them a boy or a girl. Which means this developmental period is even more important for parents to cherish and foster, not restrict and forcibly shape. Dr. Phil’s advice isn’t constructive. It’s damaging. It tells parents they should actively work to keep their sons from being too girly (whatever that means), and vice versa. As if 1) that’s something parents have control over; and 2) there’s a reason to do it.´[via]

Guys & Dolls, a complicated Relationship at Times

  

48 thoughts on “Barbie Boys Beware!”

  1. first lets clear something up about “Dr. Phil”, he is not a doctor, he completed a degree in psychology, not psychiatry, which is required to obtain a medical license. The guy is nothing more than a Yenta and an Oprah Wimpey creation. He shouldn’t be allowed to counsel monkeys nevermind humans, and anyone that lends creedence to anything he says needs to have their head examined by a board certified psychiatrist.

    1. Here are “Doctor” Phil’s qualifications: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080113025822AA4l5ZH Notice that he was reprimanded for having sex with a teenager (heterosexual, of course). I know a practicing Clinical Psychologist (Doctorate of Clinical Psychology from the University of Virginia, plus board certification) who is very contemptuous of “Doctor” Phil. Why don’t we hear the term “quack” anymore?

  2. great post josh, very well written

    where is the strap-on barbie image from?

    thx+cheers!

  3. Didn’t know you can get erotic themed dolls ….

    But who carers – i like the real thing better. =P

  4. Most of the time I completely disagree with what “Dr.” Phil says or recommends, but I’m going to play Devil’s advocate here to provide a counterpoint…

    “forc[e] him to abandon the toys and dress he is naturally drawn to [...]”

    Is this boy naturally drawn to these toys and dress? Or is this conception he has of what he should consume (dress with and play with) based upon feedback he receives within his immediate community (family)? What kind of feedback does this boy receive day-to-day being in a household dominated by females who define themselves as such based upon societal norms? What would he consider normal? Dr. Phil uses the term “stimulus items” here which is clinical and cold.

    This boy may possibly see his peers (sisters) and authority figure (mother) interacting and using these items (deemed as female) and wishes to relate to or assimilate with his community and create a common bond. This is where the idea that the boy has become stuck on stimulus items comes into play. It is through the interaction with these items that he defines himselfs and relates to others.

    Now, does the boy see playing with certain toys as a sign of gender? Does he see it as partaking in diffusion of culture? Or is he simply recreating the behavior those immediate to him? The boy may be saying I am like you in that we share the same culture, but he is too young to see how nuanced and wide and varied the world actually is.

    PS: Just want to add the via is actually: http://www.queerty.com/what-does-dr-phil-think-parents-should-do-when-their-sons-play-with-barbies-take-away-the-barbies-20110205/ and that I feel milkboys should be more clear on who is the actual author of the article because I see from one comment that they think this post is original content.

  5. It’s Saturday and I can’t be bothered to get annoyed by yet more stupid Amerikans.

    I did love the vid tho.

    One of the best Barbie Gurlz I’ve seen, thanx Josh.

  6. I had 3 sisters growing up and I wasn’t at all interested in their clothes or their toys. I wanted to be with boys. And I grew up to be a big old queen. It’s like left or right handedness. You can try to force a child to one or the other but it’s hard wired.

    1. “…but it’s hard wired.”

      Exactly right. As a child, I played with Tonka trucks, Matchbox cars, and the only dolls I played with were G.I. Joe. And I still ended up gay.

      On the flip-side, I remember a neighbor who was horrified to see his only son always playing with the neighbor’s girls and their dolls. The mother insisted the son be left alone about this. Well, the father is now happy, for the son plays sports, especially football.

      Parents: just let the kids enjoy being kids.

      And Paul, are you ready for more bleeping snow?

      1. Exactly, let children play with whatever ever gender ‘symbols’ they want. I was given NA dolls from a business trip my dad had somewhere and I threw them against the wall. OTOH, I would have died to have a Easy Bake oven and some of the other ‘toys’ that girls played with.

        I know a 17yr old boy who is a friend of the family. His peers assume he is gay because he dances. I watched him fall in love with the neighborhood boy at 12 (we even talked about it and me being queer) and wear dresses inside the house. He’s also the most incredible car nut that I know of. If I had to guess by his voice patterns and ‘mannerisms’, I’d say he’s the queerest boy I know. But that’s just it….I don’t know. Think diversity!

  7. I liked GI Joes (the originals with no penis or balls… what message were they sending I wonder), loved playing guns of any kind; liked dressing up in old women’s clothes with my friend Hank… his mom was a seamstress. It was sexy. But I never wanted to do Hank. I loved tight white jeans, black Italian boots and black t-shirts (still do but white is out unless I want to look like the Stay Puff Marshmallow man), motorcycles and hot young men…. especially hot young men. I was 7.

    What I did not know was that my parents knew. Were worried. But decided it was normal for me and until it started to impact my life to the point where I could not live, they would just watch and wait. Oh the crap they got for that. But my Psychiatrist said it was the correct thing to do.

    How they missed the other mental shit, I have no idea. >__<

  8. Raising a child is no joke. Kids shouldn’t merge with the LGTB agenda. I’m really sorry but no, just no.

    1. There is no such thing as an “LGBT agenda”. The agenda you are referring to hardly represents all of the LGBT people and thus should not be called as such. That would be the same thing as saying that the “christian agenda” is to put all doctors who have done an abortion in jail.

      Raising a kid is no joke. We should do our best to raise them to be better than us. Not impose our ancient norms and values on them. Let them see the world with untainted eyes and give them the tools to make the right decisions.

      1. Maybe it’s not so much a “LGBT Agenda”, but more a feminist one. You know, sometimes people are liked for the wrong reasons and in this case this could mean that misandric feminists actually like crossdressing boys because it helps them to get over their own complexes for not being born as boys themselves.


    2. Maldoror:

      Raising a child is no joke. Kids shouldn’t merge with the LGTB agenda. I’m really sorry but no, just no.

      Agenda? Oh you mean to be treated like a human and not an aberration of nature? To have the same rights as every other citizen and not be treated like an outcast? To live and love without being discriminated against because of whom we love?
      And to live in a world that is free of small minded conservative religious zombies?

      OH THAT agenda. Fuckin’ right!!

      My ex-wife and I raised our son without needless interventions and social exorcisms. He stayed away from drugs, drinks extremely moderately, experimented with smoking and decided he did not like it, and at 26 is on his way up the ladder in a major company as a marketing professional.
      *bell rung* SUCCESS!

      And he is gay.

      1. Are you really calling me a small-minded conservative zombie? Gee, it’s not like one could critizice the gay movement from the inside. Kids are being used in gay movements to reach their own purposes.

        Giving a toddler a set of cars instead of a doll isn’t violating their rights, it’s just what their parents think best for their child. Life can’t be a barbie girl video. Even though I consider myself an atheist, and an individualist, I am beginning to think I’m too “conservative” for this kind of stuff.

        1. What you’re saying though, is that those of us involved in gay politics are using kids for our own agenda…or ‘the agenda’. This is preposterous and insulting. I suggest that you yourself are being ‘manipulated’ if you truly believe this.

          If anything, the media & press are using queers for their own circulation props and their ‘agenda’.

          I don’t know anybody in gay politics pushing to have kids identify that they are ‘different’ and then push only playing with gender specific toys. We push that they should have the right to freely choose what they want to play with; without guilt, force & intimidation.

        2. You know what I think would be best for my child? Letting them be who they want to be.

          But keep telling “LGBT” people they’re “pushing their agenda” and “forcing people to do things against their will”.

          Because you aren’t engaging in any of that, right?

    3. WTF is “merge w/ the LBGT agenda”? a kid grows up and he / she is who he / she is, irregardless of the lack of or glut of male / female things to align with. i grew up in a “cowboy” town where literally the products produced were farmed land, cattle, wheat, etc (later to change over to grapes, for more income), wherein you simply DIDN’T align yourself with homo’s or any such “nonesense” or you got the shit kicked outta you (and I did experience that, more than once), and here I am, gay.
      shouldn’t the support for the kid be in whatever direction they are choosing to go gender-wise, irrespective of “what people might think”?

  9. I’m an adult now, but when I was a kid my same-age cousin used to play with dolls. We were probably somewhere between 7 and 10 years old at the time. I thought it was wierd that he did this.
    He turned out as an adult to be gay. So looking back, it became so absolutely clear to me that this is NOT a choice. It’s just…there. (Sadly and unfortunately, my cousin is now HIV+ and Hep C+. I feel terrible for him.)


    1. Robbie:

      I’m an adult now, but when I was a kid my same-age cousin used to play with dolls. We were probably somewhere between 7 and 10 years old at the time. I thought it was wierd that he did this.
      He turned out as an adult to be gay. So looking back, it became so absolutely clear to me that this is NOT a choice. It’s just…there. (Sadly and unfortunately, my cousin is now HIV+ and Hep C+. I feel terrible for him.)

      Getting HIV and HEP C is not inevitable, but like most sexually transmitted diseases it is a fact of life, a never ending threat. Just as Syphilis was in ages past (and still is) if you make love, you risk it even with protection.

      The only way to be absolutely safe is not to have sex at all, not to use intravenous drugs or get blood/plasma. The CDC is now say abstinence is the only sure way to avoid STDs.

      I am sorry he got those too. I have HIV but am free of any of the HEP variations. It is still destroying me inside out by that constant inflammation that wears the organs and vessels down. Im undetectable, my immune system strong, and I am unable to do much of anything. It is a terrible life wasting disease.
      But it is not inevitable. I simply cannot see life without the joy I get from sex. I lost ultimately but I had a good life, so I feel I did ok.

    2. But even in that there is diversity. Boys can play with what are deemed to be all the ‘normal’ male toy symbols and still grow up to be queer…I did. I still like (and drawn to) guy/guy stuff and I can certainly choose to ‘play’ with whatever I want.

      I hope that you can be there for your cousin….there could be no greater gift for him, than support from a family member to the end. I did this with my first cousin who died of cancer.

      1. Absolutely. I too liked (and still like) all the “male” toys, clothes, et al, and turned out – gasp – gay.

        Toys and fashions do not enter the world from wombs. They are created by human beings, and take on ‘gender identification’ only in the minds of the consumers… and, apparently, in the minds of those who would control the consumers. There is nothing organic about them. To think otherwise is to project our own interpretations upon them.

        Let the kids do what they want; they will turn out as their biology intended. Hopefully, they – and those around them – will be comfortable with that.

        Political agendas: silly on the right; silly on the left.
        Gay political agendas: what can we self-servingly whine about next, or still? Let’s get on with understanding that everyone has problems, and with solving ours in a positive manner, rather than continue the stasis created by incessant self-pity (to the exclusion of every other action).

        The ’90s and 2000s brought about a love affair with the idea of identifying problems, labelling them and blaming others. Okay, we’ve done that… to death. Let’s make the 2010s about moving beyond them by finding uplifting solutions. Some will want to stay behind, still, and wail throughout the night. I say fine, but I’m ready to move forward.

  10. I’m a barbie girl! In a barbie world!

    That pic of ken and barbie is funny. Apparently ken is a bottom

    1. Just so you know, that Barbie pic is actually my sisters. She’s a Barbie photographer with many more of the same images (This image was taken and used without her permission, just an FYI.).

      Her name is Mariel Clayton and you should find her portfolio with a google search.

  11. The boy in the pink top is….for lack of a better word ‘fabulous’! I think the two boys having that much fun exemplify the real worth in what youtube can aspire to be.

    1. I agree w/ your comment about the boy in the pink top. These two are having an enormous amount of fun, and the clip was – at the very least – very entertaining.

  12. the text speaks for itself;
    but the photo & video make the post –
    i’m happy to watch that bad lip synching ;^>

  13. Dr. Phil is a twat and so is anyone who would take advice from him. Sadly, and frighteningly, there are those that exist.

  14. If I were a parent and my son was playing with girl toys I would try to point him to some more “masculine” toys because I wouldn’t want him to have to endure the ridicule that he would most likely end up facing at school. I personally think its ok for a boy to play with girl toys, I’m against gender stereotypes and blind conformity but as a parent I would want to help keep my son from being mocked. If he still wanted to play with girl toys after my gentle prodding I would let him and help him through whatever happens because of it, because in the end I really only would want my son to be happy.

    1. So instead of teaching him to be himself and how to deal with people who make fun of him you’d rather just closet him up, tell him it’s better off that he doesn’t acknowledge who he is, and probably make him very ashamed of himself, just because you think other people might be mean about it.

      And people wonder why society doesn’t change.

      1. I think its pretty obvious that you didn’t read my post. I would very gently try to suggest other toys and if he didn’t want them I would do everything I could to help him overcome any problems he would face. Like I also said I am against gender stereotypes and don’t think there would be any problem with him playing with girl toys. I would want to help my son be happy because thats what a good parent would do, a very slight hint at more masculine toys would not damage anyone however the bullying he could face despite whatever support I give easily could. If he ignored my hints to different toys I would be perfectly fine with that and support him, if not then maybe some bullying in the future could be avoided.

        1. Your intentions are good and I don’t blame you for thinking that way but maybe if more people were out and open about who they are and put on an air of confidence it would help to erase gender stereotypes and prejudice. I mean, a lot of bullying is done on people with no self-esteem, and all you’re doing is setting up your son to not display self-esteem; and, like I said, to possibly feel ashamed of himself because he has to hide things about himself to win approval from other people as if they are dirty secrets and wrong.

  15. It’s pathetic, toys are toys. When I was a child I didn’t care one way or the other. I played with Barbie’s and those little Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars among other things that would fall on both sides of the supposed line. Thankfully I had parents that didn’t limit my options even though they’re devout Christians and don’t approve of homosexuality at all. Having a gay son was probably one of the last things my parents wanted and it’s amazing that me playing with Barbie’s didn’t alarm them at all. But as many have pointed out, the toys a child plays with have absolutely nothing to do with said child’s sexuality and how they will identify when they’re older.

    Parents need to stop worrying about what toys their children play with and start worrying about other things. What does it matter how masculine your son is or how feminine your daughter is if they turn out to be a horrid person? Parents need to focus more on raising mature, independent, smart, happy, respectful children and focus less on what stereotype their child will fall into.

    In regards to Dr. Phil, don’t even get me started. I’ve despised the man from day one. He’s the biggest moron on television right now (besides some of the people that have shows on Fox News).

  16. When my cousins and I were little, my cousin James always played Barbies with my cousin Jess, because I wouldn’t play them with her. Jess and I did everything else but this together. James’ mom was worried about him being gay or “femme” because of this. I liked playing with guns, war toys, baseball; all those boy things. James has been in a serious relation with a Girl for over 5 years. I’m in the process of coming out to the rest of the world. James and I are only 6 months apart, born the same year. This is just one case to prove that it really doesn’t matter what ‘gender’ activities you boys are doing, just let them have fun.

  17. Having come late to this discussion, I will likely reiterate what has already been said, for which I apologise.
    What I cannot comprehend, is why people like ”Dr” Phil
    are given a forum to spew their crap. Secondly, I am constantly amazed that there are enough people giving credence to this charlatan that the network that employs him makes money from the show. What does it say about our society that we give people like this a platform from which to spout their drivel day after day. Don’t people realise that it is not real? It’s just television–designed to entertain you and keep you stupefied so that you don’t rise up in righteous indignation and wrath and demand better–from our leaders and ourselves. ”Bread and circuses” to keep the populace on their backs with their legs in the air and their brains turned off.

  18. These two boys are the REAL guy barbies as far as I’m concerned! What do you guys think?

    Whiterabbit.

  19. A parents agenda is to raise happy and caring kids. You can lead your child to take his life if you do as Dr. Phil said. What about the heterosexual agenda? To eliminate all people who do not fit their narrow view of what is normal human behavior. CNN Sissy Boy Story in which parents followed Dr. Phil’s advice and he killed himself.

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