Comment Culture

reposted due to recent comments

I wanted to say this for ages but the comments on a recent post reminded me to actually do it. Please, if you don’t have to say anything positive, informative or otherwise constructive about a boy posted here: Just don’t comment at all. It’s impossible to satisfy everyone’s taste with every single post but if you don’t like the face, the body, the clothes, the attitude or whatever else of a boy featured in a picture or video on this blog you don’t have to tell us. Please consider that quite a few of the people shown here are reading the blog too.

Not because I don’t wanna hear you don’t like what I do (1. ‘cause I know that lots of people do like the blog enough to come back every other day anyway and 2. there is only one person whose opinion is actually important enough to me to make me change something here ;p) but just out of respect towards the boys posted here. I mean… you don’t like the piercings of that boy on a photo? Cool, rest assured that other people dislike your hairstyle just as much. You think someone in a video should do something about the spots in his face? Oh well, at least, unlike many of us, he’s still young enough to have spots, hey? You think someone shouldn’t smoke? How about you stop eating candy because it makes you fat? You get the point: if you don’t like something posted here just click away and come back tomorrow, you might fight something that floats your boat then.


Be nice or he’ll poke you into the eyes!

UPDATE: This was asked about in the comments: Of course you’re free to criticise how a photo was done or tell if you don’t like a film or when you disagree with an opinion stated in a post et cetera. All I’m asking for is that you don’t insult anyone personally or tell anyone how to life his or her life.

  

81 thoughts on “Comment Culture”

  1. Yes I agree, show respect people. Nobody is perfect, not even you or me. Just enjoy what is brought to us and have a great day. I enjoy coming on here everyday to check out new pics or videos. weather I like it or not, I thank you for showing and doing hard work to keep this going. You have my thanks and my respect. Now I must go surf some waves before the swell goes down =/
    Peace, Love, and nakedness! haha
    Justin, San Diego, CA

  2. I agree with you 100% This site is to enjoy the beauty of boys! Not to rip them apart!

  3. All of them look good. Many people get spots – especially when they get older. Didn’t see piercings at all – but I pass that stuff by except if it is I who gets pierced!

  4. I DISAGREE 100% with this. The idea that you shouldn’t comment on a post(images etc included) has it’s place at the beginnings of totalitarianism. I believe the improper way to express yourself is cause for this “reminder to be nice”. Instead of saying: “i don’t like his piercings” you could rather say: “imo those piercings don’t suit him very well” – less controvertial and less provocative

    I could rant about this but i trust you’re all intelligent people and understand all the things involved in this thought process.

    1. I don’t know where you got the idea from but a blog is not a state, a website doesn’t have a political system so you can’t demand democracy or free speech here. You either play by my rules or you visit a blog with rules you like better. Try too think of a blog as the house of its owner where you are welcome as long as you act respectful, not as a state where you can say whatever you want because the law allows you to do so.

      1. This is, I think, the best way to run any kind of message board / blog: a benign but watchful private owner. And that is one cute boy.

      2. Quite so. A blog is your space. The pictures you post are “guests” in your home. You have the right to ask those insulting your guests to behave. If they do not you may ask them to leave. I agree. Just have a care. Political correctness now mandates that one may patronize and criticize anything offered by those who profess to be open to the public. We have become a solipsist society and even many of the less cretinous amongst us feel they may say and/or do anything that gratifies themselves no matter who gets hurt.
        This alone makes running a blog an unstable minefield.

        You dealt with this as well as it can be dealt with, I believe.

  5. I agree completely.

    If you’re talking about the pic of the pretty little blond boy I was shocked by the vitriol of some of the comments.

  6. Thank you for saying this. I’m always amazed at people who have such pathetic lives that they have nothing else to do but make snarky comments about strangers. I somehow doubt that many of them are the ideal standards of buff manliness and muscularity that they demand in others.

    Thanks for the great work in keeping the site going-muchly appreciated.

  7. FUUUUU- I read the comments from the Wet Wednesday boy and now I´m aware of this gigantic mole on his neck… >_<

  8. Josh, I read this blog first time before 4-5 months and since then I hardly missed a day coming here! It was always been a pleasure visiting ur home(this blog ;) )and till now I liked ur taste artistic sense! but after today’s post I wd say love u, and respect u for saying something I felt many times after reading some pathetic comments.

  9. I totally agree. I have the same request for civility on my own blog. It confounds and saddens me how abusive the discourse has become in our country. People feel free to insult anyone at any time. I was taught young that all people have feelings just like I do, and I should respect them as I would want them to respect mine. Everyone has an opinion, but there is a proper way to share it.

    Love your blog by the way. I stop by every day and enjoy my self here.

    Best wishes, Scottie

  10. hmm. you got that very wrong: i didn’t criticize the looks of the model, but the fact that it was badly photoshopped and subsequently aesthetically damaged. imo. it’s too much photoshop on an otherwise nice model, that’s all. i thus kind of reject your call for respect for the model, because it’s my respect for the model and its beauty that made me want to criticize the picture in the first place. also: “too much photoshop” isn’t the same thing as piercings, hair styles, features, ..

    i don’t think doing so has anything to do with “nice” or “not nice”, but i shall respect your wish and spare any comment on things working not so good in a picture from now on.

    as for the mole: if the face wasn’t so blatantly shopped, i would have never noticed the irony of leaving just this sign of imperfection unchanged. i could have phrased that *one* thing a little more respectfully, i give you that.

    regards

    1. No worries, I was talking about insults against the boys, not about criticism about overusing Photoshop and such thing, I’ve updated the post to make that a bit clearer.

  11. I agree with you 100% Josh… if you got nothing nice to say then don’t say it at all besides it’s far easier to just click away and move along!

  12. I visit this site daily.I love the diversity of the topics and subjects that are posted.Well done Josh.

  13. I don’t like this boy… He’s too “pokie”………… ;-)

    Kidding of course! Look at him! :-)

  14. Josh,
    agreed, of course.
    But.. it’ll work as long as this blog stays more or less like this.
    But you know that if Milkboys is victim of success, then you LOSE control of the blog, and the most powerful vitriol will be poured upon each and every boy, and it’ll never stop.
    Check out perfectly beautiful films on IMDB: each and every one is totally shat upon, destroyed, always, whatever the film, because IMDB is letting Art out lose to the basic brainless crowds.

    1. You never lose control of your own blog. If anything, it’s those that visit that lose things. Like instead of being able to comment without logging in or without posts being held for moderation.

      1. Everything that gains a lot of success is doomed to unleash the vitriol of lesser minds.
        the blog, or the visitors fault, the result is the same.
        Only invitation-style blog would work. Very easy to lose control otherwise.

    2. YN, what you said about the IMDb is completely correct; the vast majority of comments on that site are awful and destroy the fun of discussing films there. You basically CAN’T discuss films there (“hating” them is not discussing them).

  15. Well said & Cutely illustrated,Josh, thanks a bunch for your hard work @ this great blog.
    Keep up your excellent posting. P & L.

  16. There is always something to like about everything posted here. I enjoy seeing what’s new everyday.

  17. Just remember that most people are overly critical because they are so miserable in there every day lives that it makes them feel better by criticizing every detail.

    For the record. I love your sight and come here every day.

    1. I wholeheartedly agree with Josh’s request, but I think that what you have said here is just as bad as what Josh is asking all of us to refrain from.

  18. Very well said, Josh. Milkboys has been a fun website since I found it a few months back, despite the occasional critical comment that I usually scrolled past. It’s great that you allow viewer comments with the pictures. Some of the viewers just need to tone down their criticisms, if they really need to express the criticism in the first place.

  19. I agree that negative comments add NOTHING to the overall culture of a blog/board. And, they’re not just a bring-down for the blog owner, they’re a bring-down for most, if not all, who visit, too. Thanks, Josh, for saying what needed to be said!

  20. Thank you Josh, well said. Everyone has their strong points, and weak points. And pretty for sure no one needs to hear carping criticism … right?
    I don’t mind hearing a “well that’s too much photoshopping”, but when it gets down to being critical of a mole or whatever, yeah. leave it along :-)
    I love this blog.

  21. what about not liking the aesthetics of the photo/video/etc, as opposed to not liking the looks of the subject? like, thinking it’s a poor pic of a cute boy? is the latter also not-ok to say? i’m not trying to be rude or funny.. just asking :)

    1. He’s been flagging and deleting peoples comments. Theyve told me. he flags people he dislikes, sets their comments to pending approval, then deletes them. This is a sham.

      1. Well perhaps these people (you) should just look with your eyes and if you don’t like what you see… click it off! Don’t nega-comment and tick us off!

      2. Oh mak tht’s not true I think. As I am one who criticised his subject post, me and Charles cam in for Josh’s tongue lashing, but he didn’t delete or pend us or our comments he posted and said his peace back to us. But itts a good site when Josh keeps the age up I love it and his news is extremely good and accurate for GBLT people.

      3. Max, that’s bollocks, whenever a comment was held for moderation it was done by the anti-spam plugin, not by me. But thinking about it now… I will do that now, yeah. Because Charles and Robbygay are obviously having their personal little troll session here stretched over several posts. So if anyone still feels the need to talk about this feel free to mail me but please stop the off-topic comments.

  22. Love the pic with this post. I mean it was perfect…oh and by the way…I totally respect you for handling that so well! Bravo!

  23. All respect to Josh, who gives so much of himself to everyone. For me it’s an honour to be able to share this. It’s not my thing to tell Josh what’s right or wrong. The day personal blogs turns into some sort of all mans property, Internet is dead.

    have a great friday!

  24. Good morning Josh, I just wanted to say, that your site is awesome, and it’s an outlet for me, I live in a area in the states that’s not safe to be a bi or a gay male. You have given me a place to go, some place where I just don’t feel alone. Well I guess what I’m trying to say is, Thank you so much oxoxox :)

  25. Gosh, that shirt looks absolutely cheesy and both his nose and his eyes are just grossly huge… oO

  26. glad you threw in the lines underneath the photo. cuz there is alot of good, mature, healthy disagreement on the comments too.

    its not all just plain bickering

  27. It is not only comment culture but just good and proper manners. You have all my support and respect. I love the Blog and beg you to continue the good work.

    1. Didn’t we talk about how a personal website can’t reflect any political system earlier? But if you think it’s “fascist” to ask people not to insult anyone…

  28. i’m sorry for what my comment co-kicked off. sucks. i too know my way around the necessity of “don’t act as if this was your livingroom”-rules by personal experience, it’s the starting ground for any artistical expression made available to a larger audience.
    that’s what we are here: the *audience*. the *community* takes place in the message-board, the chatroom, .. distinguations like that make art(-ish) work possible. creativity, art, .. is not a-priori democratic.

    besides: “don’t insult anyone” is, in any way, just fine.

  29. this kind of makes me sad. i mean, if i were the one featured for whatever reason, i’d want to hear all comments, because in the real world, we aren’t sheltered, as a gay person, im certainly not sheltered, and as a blogger, i want to hear what people have to say. sometimes thats just what we should hear, or need to hear. i mean, I completely respect you, and i wont comment anymore, because, if i have to worry that i’m possibly offending someone else, I’d rather just keep my peace, and post my thoughts on a different blog. The whole point of joining for me was to be able to feel comfortable, have fun, talk real, and speak my mind. The last thing i want to do, is be the troll, or the jerk, or the guy who makes someone else cry or feel bad, so to that josh, this will be my last post. I’m really sorry for whoever pissed you off, hopefully they will leave too. its just a shame, it really is, especially considering how warm, and welcoming this blog’s feeling and atmosphere is. Its not all to josh, so this isn’t an attack or a personal message, but, now that the rules are set, I just feel like this is one more place, just like home, just like work, just like anywhere else, where I have to watch my tongue, watch my step, shut up, smile, and just not talk if its not on the right terms.some people might say im being dramatic, or jumping to conclusions, but honestly, i just don’t like getting in the middle of it. but thats real life , so its not really anything different or new and in many many ways its completley understandable. i mean i don’t think i’ve ever been the one to be who you are referring to, (or at least i hope not) i just hate the stigma thats in the air, and would rather step away all together. <3

    (and p.s, i know this is a re-post, and I probably should have been expected to know these rules from the start, so If i ever misstepped, once again, i apologize. its just sad, i hate when people get upset, especially when they just try to make something good happen, or when they are just voicing their thoughts, and that goes for both sides of this issue.

    1. Don’t go, SK. Please. I didn’t agree with you about the cute (he was!) boy in the mirror yesterday, but I like your comments, in general. Please stay.

    2. Sooner Kid don’t go. You have friends here. You can locate my email on facebook if you care to. I hope I’m not breaking a rule here.

  30. Sooner, dude….NOOOOOOO….don’t go! Boys like you here breathe the very LIFE into this blog. Without you, things won’t be the same, really.:-(

    Please reconsider??

  31. Since all boys are wonderful, and some are simply more wonderful than others (actually, not all, but the ones you put here) any comment about their physical attributes other that “Glorious” is inappropriate.

    We cannot help being good looking in the same way that we cannot help being ugly. And we are always good looking to someone. So a comment about unevenness of nose or unpleasing eye distance is pretty poor form.

    I do think one can ask “Why did he pose like a slut?” if we feel it valid. That may have been the precise effect he intended!

  32. A genuinely delightful collection – well worth the making. Colourful and soft and all the better for only very occasionally being ever-so-slightly provocative…^^

  33. I’m glad to see this post. It’s annoying to give a reply to someone to help their quest and instead of others simply posting their own opinion so people can hear all sides and make an informed choice… they get snotty and tear apart your reply. I wish members would remember that there is many ways to cook a rabbit. All are correct; each has a taste that someone likes.

    and…

    why did he pose like a slut?

  34. Dear Josh.
    i guess that old adage, ”You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time” — [Abraham Lincoln] certainly still rings true!!
    my philosophy, if i don’t care for something, I’ll skip it – no comment needed.
    And if i like it enough, I’ll comment. simple!
    and btw, i dew love your blog, and i thank you so much for all your work. hugs! trev

  35. btw, i have no idea what picture started this whole fiasco…

    {oh, an, cute boy in the finger-pointing pic! – pretty eyes!}

  36. I don’t see, why I could not tell that piercings destroy the beauty what they were born with. It is just a fad and trend. Like my son who had his earlobes extended for more than a year. Wouldn’t listen to me, had a rebel without a cause attitude and then asked his mummy to pay for plastic surgery to have them stitched up again. Lousy excuse was: I cannot get a job because of the peircings. Mum paid up and he still has not the job he is supposed to find.

    What is it nowadays? Boys have become such sissies that we cannot tell them anything they don’t like no more. And this is the blog that contests against censure? Hey, gay community wake up; listen to Quentin Crisp…on Youtube. That guy never needed a Gay pride and never would have been part of it, he said when he was still riding high in talkshows and gays who wanted advice. If you want to be controversial, do it well, in style and don’t follow a trend like meek sheep. Anyone can buy a ring, straight or gay, whether that is something special remains to be seen. Only time will tell. But don’t get shocked or offended that people think it spoils your face and feel offended by it. If you have the right to feel offended, so do the viewers.

    If you want to rebel do it thoroughly. Walk the streets in your undies instead of those sagging pants. That would show them and that would be real tough. Better though, go and demonstrate against Wall Street, and show that you exist. Not by a ring in your nose but by a fist of Youth.

    1. I don’t see, why I could not tell that piercings destroy the beauty what they were born with

      Because beauty, like all things, is a different thing for every person.

      Nobody is saying you can’t have your opinion but having it doesn’t mean you have to rant at everybody who doesn’t agree with your definition of beauty by telling him he “destroyed his beauty”.

      To be frank, I’m pretty tired of having the same comments here over and over and over again about how piercings are ugly, how smoking is a turn off, how long hair is only for girls etc. etc.

      Letting other people make their own decisions about what they want to look like, what they want to wear and what they want to do with their body is just a question of respect and that is all I’m asking for: Respect the people you see here and let them be who they want to be, not who you want them to be for you.

  37. P.S. We live in a society geared toward children and kids, who are to be pleased instantly, instant gratification; and a culture where children are not allowed to be bored. Lots of problems that seem to be luxury problems imo. Even when models walk the catwalk they get to hear criticism. Despite the rings in nose, lips and where have you, I have never seen a youth more conservative than this generation.

  38. Maybe you don’t understand that there is the illusion that they are free to wear what they want, as they are just another brick in the wall of dictating fashion (MTV or other youth exploitative media). One of our poets Oscar Wilde said it so well:”Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.” I have still to come across one of the critic minds here on this board. Or do you want to parade the boys only for their beauty like pageants to drool over. May we not ask for a smart brain in a nice body too? Or ask the youths to reflect?

  39. Right on Josh.You have an outstanding blog which I do enjoy.Keep up the good work and hope your comments well influence some others to change their ways or just move on. I know I well still be here with 90% of the other commenters.

  40. One question.
    This is my first time posting after going to this sight over the last few years. Why does everything have to be perfect. Everything in life is never perfect, you have to see beauty in the normalness of life. Not some shown media image. You always see models with perfect skin, All one tone with no blemeishes. I find it more attractive when people have randomness to their skin tone, moles, freakles and all. It adds character to a person, it doesn’t diminish their outer apperence.

    Imo people that point out other peoples problems, usally have something they don’t like about themselves. I say that as a person that has but doesn’t act like that anymore. For all you know The person that posted could of been a kid on his last straw trying to raise their confidence.

  41. Ok, I’ve got the message. I shall walk to Canossa on my knees, and pray the Lord my soul to keep.

    1. Don’t forget to wear your hair shirt on the trek…
      -Actually very cool to come up with that!

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