Don’t say Gay

Randy,

Your points are well taken, but they are entirely based on your last statement that “Not all LGBT people are gay. The terms are not even synonomous.” Most of the people and organizations that use the term “gay”, however, would say they are using the term “gay” in a highly inclusive way.

The term “gay” has been troublesome for years, primarily because there has never been an accepted alternate term for “homosexual male”, even though “Lesbian” has meant “homosexual female” for centuries. In the early underground use of the term “gay” before World War II, it meant primarily effeminate males. It was a positive alternative to the derogatory “pansy”. A good example of that use was Cary Grant’s line “I just went gay all of a sudden” in the 1938 movie “Bringing Up Baby”. Back then, in the general public’s mind, all homosexual males were transgendered. It wasn’t until the Kinsey’s “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male” in 1948 that the idea of a “normal” acting homosexual male or a bisexual male became generally accepted. In the fifties and sixties, the term “gay” broadened it’s meaning, but also became more more vague. Sometimes it meant just “homosexual males”, sometimes “all homosexuals”, and sometimes “all non-straight people”. The confusion was also the confusion in society in general, because the categories of “bisexual” and “transgender” were not generally accepted as valid. Immediately after Stonewall, the term “Gay Liberation” was meant to be inclusive of everyone, but the gay males involved, like society in general, tended to ignore everyone else. As various groups demanded recognition, progressively more and more inclusive terms were used: “gay and Lesbian”, “LGB”, and “LGBT”. During all of this, the term “gay” maintained its narrow meaning, “gay male”, and its inclusive meaning, “all non-straight people”. with much confusion. In the 1990′s, young people reclaimed the term “Queer” and rejected the term “Gay”, much to the discomfort of older “gay” people like me. Then “LGBTQ” came into use. But that also became vague, because ‘Q’ could mean “Queer” or “Questioning”. Now we have “LGBTQA”, with “Allies” added.

When PFLAG started in 1972, it was called “POG”, “Parents of Gays”, but it quickly changed its name to include Lesbians. It has chosen to not expand its name to PFLAGBTQA, but it is definitely an inclusive organization, and all people are welcome except homophobes. I’m sure the same is true for GLAAD, GLSEN and all the other organizations that use “GL” in their name. For those of us in the older generations, the term “gay” has always meant to be inclusive, at least as far as our own awareness would let us in the 1970′s and 1980′s.

The use of the term “gay” as a derogation, such as in “that’s so gay” is recent, probably from the 1990′s generation of school age children. Before the 1990′s the term “gay” was always positive and inclusive, however it was used. For most of it’s uses, it has remained positive and inclusive. Only for the recent generation of young people has “gay” had any negative connotations. I distinctly remember being very troubled and confused when I heard the phrase “That’s so gay.” from one of my community college students in the early 2000′s. I didn’t know if it was positive, and therefore appropriate, or derogatory, in which case I had the responsibility to say something and stop it’s further use. The video in this posting is actually arguing against a very recent (in my viewpoint, at least) use of the term “gay”.

So your arguments about how “LGBT” and “gay” are not synonymous are noted and acknowledged. But please be aware for those of us in the older generations, and for pre-2000′s use of the word “gay”, it is meant to be inclusive of all LGBTQA, non-absolutely-straight, people. I hope it remains so.