Homophobia Kills

It’s an incredibly depressing topic, but it needed to be said. Thank you!

I was so saddened to read the recent spate of stories about bullying gays leading to suicide. As someone who was bullied as a boy, I can understand some the despair and pain these young people must have felt. However, I’m not sure that anti-bullying laws will do much to stop this hate. You can’t legislate love or hate. We must work to guarantee civil rights for gays and other minorities but there also needs to be a change in the way parents talk and act around their kids. As the song in “South Pacific” notes, “You have to be carefully taught.”

When will people learn that you cannot and should not legislate behavior? Letting the Government ‘handle’ the problems of society by making them illegal does not work. Education is a start but to really make an effect we have to change our opinions at home, in church, at temple and in school. Children learn through observation of their parents. Until the parents change their nasty, hateful attitudes and ideals, nothing will change.

This is such a sad thing for a child to kill themselves over. Bullying is the outward symptom but it is the perceived social negativity and hatred where the child feels it must be them who are flawed so badly that there is no other answer when faced with violence than to die. It tears me up. I went through this crap as did my son. I considered suicide quite often. It makes me want to thrash the miserable bastards that spread this kind of hate.
Sorry… this is a sore subject. Thank you Josh. It does need to be spotlighted.

The original definition of the word “homophobia” described “fear of sameness”, or even more accurately, “fear of self”. This, IMHO, is a much more nuanced point than merely defining it to mean “fear of homosexuals”.

I know we in USA have so many suicides because of gay bashing, bullying and homophobia, but I’m wondering (factually) how many pre-teens, young teens, teens or others commit suicide for the same reasons in Europe, Asia, C. & S. Americas, or Australia?

Pretty sad, and all examples are USA. It seems this is the worst country in the world when it comes to accepting people for who they are

When will people wake up. If you hate gays so much……STOP HAVING CHILDREN..THAT will solve the problem. I didnt come out of the closet untill I was in my mid 20s because I saw what others were going through. I may not like people who wear orange pants, but I dont go around harraising them or beating them up. It is deplorable that this is still happening as often as it does.

On a personal note, the last a/hole that taunted me calling me FAGGOT probably thought twice while in the hospital having his jaw wired shut.

For teens reading Milkboys who are experiencing the hate first-hand, I encourage you to check out the YouTube page that traveleryvr posted. For those who want to talk, at least here in the United States,m there is the Trevor Project at http://thetrevorproject.org which staffs a 24 hour hotline for GBLT teens facing rejection, depression or contemplating suicide. (I have no connection except as a contributor when I can spare it). There is help out there *please* use it. So many of us suffered the same kinds of pain and rejection: we urge you to hang on there and resolve to live long enough to overcome the hate of schoolmates.
For the adults here: consider donating to Trevor or another organization making a difference. We’ve made it: let’s help our next generation join us.

On a different note: I’m an American in California; and I’m not always proud of what other American s do. I’ve also lived in Germany and in France, so my view is not totally ignorant of other cultures.
To prophet, who apparently lives in the US and who thinks it is the ‘worst country in the world’, let me say two things: 1) Here in the US you hear about such outrages; and 2) there are other cultures where penalty for suspected gay behavior is grounds for execution. And those places think they have no gay citizens. We’re far from perfect; but spend some time traveling the world and you’ll find it could be much worse. we will persevere: contrary to the anti-gay sound bytes you hear, no less than the Wall Street Journal says that over 60% of Americans believe that gays should have equal rights as straights with respect to marriage and protection under the law. We’ll be batter..

Hate is hate. There has always been a group in charge that tries to single out some group to be hated. Think. women.. blacks, my family went through a time when the Irish were considered ‘sub-human’.
The only way to fight such ignorance is education and experience. You cannot hate your black neighbor once you get to know them, similarly, since gays have been in the closet, it has been difficult to put a face on a gay person, it’s easier to hate them. Now that more of us are out, families and friends and neighbors realize we are more like them that different.
Sadly we have to legislate behaviour, we always have had to, and including orientation and related issues will go a long way in that direction.
I urge every one here, young to old to volunteer, donate, spend time with any organization that helps ease issues over hate, coming out, etc. It will open your eyes, and make their lives better.
Last thought:
Hate divides and because of that it will never prevail. Hate is a destructive force that only generates discontent. Love however unifies. Once we get to a point in our hearts where we don’t look for differences in people, we realize that its the minor differences that bring diversity, and strength.

I beg any milkie here, to contact somebody, including me if they feel suicidal. It is not the answer.

I was the bully who picked on the fem boys way back when I was in school – mercilessly…and 30 years later I still am haunted by the hatred my fear of myself expressed. It was and it is psychology 101. Those most unhappy within themselves will often strike out at those who remind them unconsciously of the parts of themselves that they hate. Tornmentor and tormented alike do live with the scars – it’s just that one of them is more able to be honest about it.

What is really sad about the three who committed suicide is most of us do realise that they are just the visible tip of a very big iceberg…they are the ones we heard about.

I am, however, witness to how far in a short period of time we have come. Thirty years ago we would not even know these boys had existed, let alone hear of their plights SYMPATHETICALLY from the mass media…there is hope, and there is progress. Slowly, albeit, and yet our ancestral GLBT’s never even had that.

As Bruce Cockburn wrote and sang…keep kicking at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.

~Yokimi in Maine USA

I mentioned the Trevor project yesterday; they have me on their mailing list because when I can I’ve been giving them donations when I can. Today they sent out email; and it turns out they can accept $5 donations by texting them.
“Text TREVOR to 85944 to make a $5 donation”
I know we’re all stretched pretty thin; but I think they do a pretty good job both supporting the kids who need it AND publicizing the problem in mainstream media and politics. I am not affiliated with them, I promise; but I decided I can afford an extra $5 on my cell phone bill – hell, I probably won’t even notice it. But every penny we can give provides help that our young friends need. if you can do it just once, do it now.

I saw the story about the NJ boy who jumped from the GW Bridge and it just made me sick!!!!