If I want to be a cheerleader, I’m a cheerleader!
It seems that 2010 is trying to be the year of school bullying in America. From Minnesota to Indiana, bullying has resulted in tragedy, with youth who were picked on because of their perceived sexual orientation driven to suicide.
In another instance, outside of Toledo, Ohio, an 11-year-old was picked on by his classmates mercilessly. That student? Tyler Wilson. And he tells a local ABC news channel that students would wait for him after school, teasing him and taunting him, and eventually physically harassing him so bad, that Tyler had his arm broken.
Why would bullies do this?
Because Tyler is a member of a local cheerleading squad (which means he’s more lucky< than other boys who wanted to be cheerleaders), and other kids in his class wanted to give him hell for it. Beating youth up because of their perceived sexual orientation, or beating kids up because they break gender stereotypes? Both types of bullying are closely related, and both deserve to be condemned by school administrators, by teachers, by fellow classmates, and by the community. And both types of bullying illustrate more than ever why Congress needs to act on the Safe Schools Improve Act, to make sure that students like Tyler don’t have to fear for their physical safety just by attending school.
Tyler, for his part, is a pretty damn awesome child. Take a look at his interview with the local ABC affiliate. Amidst a broken arm and lots of name-calling, Tyler says that no bully is going to stop him from being a cheerleader.
"It feels horrible that they can’t accept me for who I am. If I want to be a cheerleader, I’m a cheerleader," Tyler said. "I’m going to keep going, I’m going to make a lifestyle out of it," Tyler has also been getting support from male cheerleaders from around the state of Ohio after the incident.
0
about 2 years ago
Sad that there’s nothing in this story about the little rat fucks that broke this kid’s arm ending up in reform school. I’m not sure what this “physically harassing” shit is. When you break somebody arm it’s assault. I’d be willing to wager that the kids responsible for this come from “good Christian homes”.
about 2 years ago
I sincerely hope the Toledo, Ohio City Attorney’s office does file felonious criminal charges against the boy[s] who are doing this (and I’m sure there are several boys — usually just one boy won’t do this unless he has friends and an “agreeable” audience to show off to. And I hope the bully’s parents end up paying thousands of dollars as punishment as making the bully do hundreds of hours of community service.
And, steevee, I’m sure you’re absolutely correct. Usually all of this “anti-gay” [and that's exactly what it is] behavior is usually from “christian” families [and I would in no way call them "good"].
And to say that Tyler is cute as hell is an understatement!
about 2 years ago
What a shame.
Just because you want to be a male cheerleader, you’re harassed.
Things really haven’t changed since the ’70s as even then you were looked down upon if you were a male cheerleader.
So why hasn’t the boys that broke his arm been in the news?
Where’s the justice?
Oh yeah, there is no justice when they’re good Christian kids. *rolls eyes*
about 2 years ago
A simple google query shows that the two bullies in question have been charged, and quite promptly. I would also point out that good christian kids would not do this, just as muslim, hindu, atheist, epileptic, fat, skinny or any other flavor of “good” kids would not.
about 2 years ago
I agree with you Dashiell. I put “good Christian homes” in quotes because so many people claiming to adhere to Christian values are anything but Christian. My comment could be construed as offensive by actual Christians so if any of them visit here, I apologize.
about 2 years ago
Apology accepted :) Perhaps it might be good to remember that there are not only individual Christians who have no problem with people being gay, but even denominations who are willing to appoint/elect gay people as leaders.
My son goes to a Christian school and one of his best friends is openly (says it right on his facebook page) gay. So far there have been no problems from staff or students.
about 2 years ago
I’m surprised that gay child (I’m assuming a boy) hasn’t been removed from that school for “their morals” reasons (if it’s not a PUBLIC school). And I’m surprised that other [older/higher grade] boys haven’t taunted him as well. And I’m surprised that school hasn’t tried to have that part of his profile “removed” because “it advertises homosexuality [or] freely states that homosexuality is ‘normal’.”
about 2 years ago
Australia is different to America – well, some parts of both are different. Even the school chaplain has said it is a non-issue as far as he is concerned. I can’t imagine most of the school community or associated church community condoning any of the actions you speak of. He is not the first gay kid to attend the school. As someone else said, the militant anti-gay Christians you see on TV are not speaking for all Christians, and many of us cringe everytime we see them.
about 2 years ago
Man, I dont normally get emotional, but that vid did it.
WTF is up with this world, when will we just learn to live with each other and respect each other.
Im willing to bet the pricks that broke his arm where rewarded by their parents and given a special medal at church..
Or they got a tap on the back of the hand” Now dont do that again” said the smiling parent “Want to go get some Ice Cream”
If I was the DA in that area I would be going after the kids with everything I could.
Sorry this just really touched a nerve in me…
about 2 years ago
Stuff like this REALLY pisses me off!!! Damn kids and you know it’s sometimes how the PARENT’S raise these kids to be so hateful. Hope they choke on the next meal they have!
about 2 years ago
yes, quite sad….but if you want something to really piss you off, watch aaron russo’s “freedom to fascism”…or others like him….that should give you at least the consolation that this kid will be prepared when he discovers how life screws you :)
about 2 years ago
I actually attended middle and senior high school in the Anoka-Hennepin school district, having graduated 4 years ago. At that time, not only was there no visible activity in terms of curbing GLBT bullying, there was no acknowledgment of the existence of GLBT students whatsoever. It took an incident where an assistant principal gave detention to a gay student for holding hands with another boy for the school to create a gay support group (GSA). Even after that, the ACLU had to step in and file a lawsuit against the district before policy was re-written to incorporate verbiage relating to GLBT students, and how the district handles bullying.
AH has always dragged their feet when it comes to GLBT issues, only making pathetically small steps forward in the past five years. Part of it is the demographic of the AH school district. However, a suicide epidemic might hopefully get the attention of the state, and actually motivate someone to do something about it.
about 2 years ago
This is very typical around America, especially in conservative, rural areas. The folks at GLSEN will help kids with the information to form a GSA in HS, but the kids have to do it themselves with a teacher/administrator as a sponsor and facilitator. Also, the student s have to do the work to present the GSA to the school as a ‘club’. However, it is their Federal right to assemble this ‘club’ on campus in a protected ‘safe’ zone without harassment.
Failure of the school to let students form a GSA can result in a loss of Federal funds which are also related to state funding. At this point the Lamda Legal Defense Fund people are brought in. We’re right at this stage right now with the HS here.
The anti bullying school policies are another matter and encompass geeks, nerds, punkers etc as well, who could be any sexual orientation. Many HS’s choose to ignore the problems of LBGTQI students with the attitude of “Don’t ask, don’t tell”.
about 2 years ago
I was beaten, teased and unmercifully taunted for 3 years in middle school… 5th through 8th grades.
The teachers and principal tried to stop it, one of the kids was the son of a teacher and I know he got punished, but it never stopped. I had no idea why other than I was new, and not a part of their clique.
I saw them playing ‘boy’ games in the locker room often, so I can’t believe they thought I was gay and harrassed me for that. Later the ring leader said he thought I was cute and was trying to get close to me. >_> In some ways, kids are just plain odd.
about 2 years ago
“Later the ring leader said he thought I was cute and was trying to get close to me. >_> In some ways, kids are just plain odd.”
You said it! That is one psyche I just can’t understand.
about 2 years ago
He was a bit off. But then a month or so later, I think (It was a while ago), his mother and father were killed when a car leaped the median and went through the windshield of their car. I never got a chance to tell him how sorry I was. He was a good looking guy too.
about 2 years ago
This does not surprise me. I had one fellow who was very cruel and unkind to me in middle school. He belittled and demeaned me to a point where I got sick of it one day and we fought. He was less vocal about it afterwards, and I moved on to a private school shortly thereafter. Only later did I find out that he has been in a committed relationship for years now, and I have even spoken with him several times and received his apology. He was, after all, confused about his feelings and acted on them the only way he knew how.
about 2 years ago
Maybe I should look him up and see if he is out there.
His family were very prominent people in our area.
Don’t excuse his actions because it is all he knew. That is just an excuse. Violence is virtually never justifiable nor is hate. People should by now understand how destruct such things are… and no, I do not want more laws and regulations. People need to take responsibility for their actions (and inactions) without turning to the Nanny Government as so many think works. It doesn’t.
about 2 years ago
“Don’t excuse his actions because it is all he knew. That is just an excuse. Violence is virtually never justifiable nor is hate.”
That would be correct if you only had to deal with common sense and logic. But when any religion is brought into the equation, then all common sense and logic is thrown out and blindly replaced with: “morals” — bible/koran — [HATE], AD NAUSEUM with “it is all they know (or were taught)” thrown in for good measure because they can’t successfully argue with logic.
about 2 years ago
Oh, hot. What kinds of games?
about 2 years ago
Three got into sucking each other off before soccer practice. We all stood around watching. No big deal. Im not sure any one actually came, but it was still fun.
Of course there were two or three of us they liked to pants, and humiliate, beat and terrify but occasionally we escaped that ritual. =__=
about 2 years ago
Middle school is the worst. Kids are so stupid and immature. Usually gets better into high school, but some stupidity still lingers.
about 2 years ago
I think MOSTLY, is isn’t really stupidity — just general immaturity is a better description — that and the incredible “outside” social influences such as in today’s life — TV, Internet. Which, oddly, if viewed through the “right looking glass” can actually be healthy.
about 2 years ago
I understand that psyche. “Look at me, I’m not gay, I wolfwhistle at girls, I play football, I box”. But they still want you to suck their cocks. There not gay cos they don’t “Do it like girls”. Very fucked up. Closet Homosexuals mascarading as Homophobes.
Whiterabbit.
about 2 years ago
You really bring up a very good point. I remember a lot, and let me underscore ‘a lot’ of closet homosexuals during my middle school years. We often had like little orgies. Guess you can say that is just normal boyhood curiosity to be out grown eventually. Well I never out grew it. Guess the others did. Or did they?
about 2 years ago
Heh, this reminds me of one of Steve Hughes comedy bits: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in9SiDtJLaU (NSFW)
”Grown men, still scared… ‘they’re not real men mate, poofters, they’re not tough’ They’re not tough? They f*** men! What do you straight men want? Soft, sleek, femine.. ‘what do you want Dave?’ I wanna f*** a bloke! .. Or is that a bit …tough for you and your p***y loving mates?…Straight: it’s the new gay.”
about 2 years ago
Nothing is more dangerous or self-destructive then a closeted gay male who is internally homophobic and acts out in violence.
about 2 years ago
Take heart, kid. George Bush and Ronald Reagan were cheerleaders too. And who’s cooler than them?
about 2 years ago
I think you really meant well but I never imagined W as cool. I could go on a rant from here but I’ll just go with your good wishes.
about 2 years ago
Ur funny, dude!
about 2 years ago
I know Christians get a bad rap sometimes, but why can’t they do the Christian thing of an eye for an eye, or in this case break the bullies arm? Seems like the Christian thing to do? :p
about 2 years ago
It’s my understanding that christian theology expressly rejects eye-for-an-eye philosophies in favor of forgiveness. And really, as satisfying as busting the other kid’s arm would be, I feel it would only further cement resentment rather than change his views. I think perhaps it would be better to put him on the same cheer-leading team, run him through a couple of practices and see if he can cut the mustard.
about 2 years ago
Depends on whether or not the Christians in question hold the Bible to be THE WORD. We have heard over and over how moderate Muslims should stand up and shout down or at least speak out to let the media know these extremists are a small faction. Of course there are many in Congress who belong to evangelical groups working their ‘Christianization’ of the government.
What you espouse is what I was taught growing up in the Episcopalian church and with the Friends. But sadly that is not what is getting air time, and is effecting the weaker minds who like going along with such hate speech.
I would like to see that more. Good churches, congregations and denominations saying that they do not agree nor support these radical groups.
about 2 years ago
:p <– denotes sarcasm, making joke, not to be taken literally. Useful for tongue in cheek type remarks.
I hope you were not taking me seriously? Violence backed by religious beliefs is only acceptable during such events as the Spanish Inquisition, or maybe witch burning. :p
( ok trying it one last time before I give up! :p )
about 2 years ago
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! :p
about 2 years ago
lol
about 2 years ago
GO TYLER. : D
about 2 years ago
Wow, this pisses me off so bad. When I was in high school during the mid 90′s, there were several male cheerleaders at my school (located in the South) and they were basically universally considered some of the coolest guys at school. No one ever for a minute thought they were gay or anything.
If I had one wish, it would be for Tyler to one day get to experience what the male cheerleaders at my school were fortunate to experience: Equality and respect for doing something they loved!
about 2 years ago
I wanted to say that this article is an amazing bit of reporting.
Also, everyone should watch a DVD called “Ready, OK!”, 2009.
about 2 years ago
This boy is SO brave for keeping it up despite the level of harsh adversity he has endured!!
When I was a young boy, I was a gymnast, so I know how much hard work goes into tumbling, the teamwork involved, choreography, and the sportsmanship, etc.
It IS hard work and there’s nothing gay or girly about it. I also made the cuts for the circus in Peru, Indiana when I was 12 years old, which is a circus comprised of mostly young kids and teen performers. Sadly, I broke my arm before going in, so I never got to do it.
I don’t understand the whole issue of gender roles when it comes to performances like that because it’s just as hard, if not harder, than sports like football or baseball or basic things like that.
There’s a lot more involved in things like gymnastics, dancing, etc. that I KNOW FOR A FACT most burly, muscular, ultra-masculine guys could NEVER handle in a million years.
So what if mostly girls are into gymnastics or cheerleading or circus performance? The acts need males as well!!
People need to respect that it’s an art form when seen in retrospect and has little to do with what gender you are. As long as you can shine in being who you are, especially like Tyler who is SO strong about it, that’s what matters and you can overcome anything.
Screw gender expectations, they’re the worst thing to ever happen in the civilized world!!!
about 2 years ago
I know several “Cirque du Soleil” performers, who are straight, Olympic quality athletes and were cheerleaders in high-school. They report to me they are constantly berated by amoebic-brained knuckle-draggers for being “gay”. One fellow I know, was the victim of an attempted bashing, but I can tell you the “basher” came out far worse for the efforts in that match-up. I don’t condone violence as a rule, but that made me smile.
about 2 years ago
I didn’t percieve the kid as being a gay boy wanting to be a cheerleader but just as a boy wanting to be a cheerleader. He even said in that one interview that he thought the other guys “were just jealous ’cause he got to hang around with a bunch of girls.” And he certainly does have some guts to say he isn’t going to let them stop him from doing so. Good on him for that. He is a handsome young fella and has a great smile too. I wish good luck to him in the future with this endeavor.
about 2 years ago
I believe you read this in the correct frame of mind. He is merely a boy who is a cheerleader and there is no good reason for anyone to want him to be otherwise. Anything else is just personal baggage.
about 2 years ago
Exactly….the theme of the news story shouldn’t be about whether or not the boy is gay. He may not even know his sexual identity yet. It’s just about a boy who wanted to be a cheerleader and was beaten/harassed by other boys, who are only acting out what the adults in their lives have probably done before them.
I’ve known very few homophobic boys who act out against other boys without some sort of reinforcement at home (or lack of parental input). Unless of course, the bullies are closeted gays themselves.
In the movie “Billy Elliot”, which most of us have seen….the issue was never about Billy being gay or not (we are not to know in the film), but that he had the utmost passion for dance….period. However, his friend was gay and Billy supported him from the start…after they got it sorted out that they weren’t going to be BF’s.;-)
However, the blue-collar neighborhood Billy grew up in perceived him as gay….just because he was a boy in ballet.
about 2 years ago
This is just like all the shark attacks in the news right before 9/11. The attacks and bullying aren’t any more or less frequent, they’re just the flavor of the moment for the media to get everyone all riled up about just for everyone to forget about it once they move on.
I doubt there’s anyone that hasn’t had to deal with bullying at some point or another. Hell, half the reason I became a goth in HS was cause it kept the bullying to verbal abuse rather then physical.
Yea, charges should be pressed against the bullies if someone’s actually harmed enough to go to the hospital or worse… but honestly, why all the fuss now. Just like the Catholic priests molesting alter-boys, we’ve all known it’s been happening for decades, the media’s just reporting on it now.
It’s not like anything’s actually going to be done about it beyond some hasty legislation that does nothing to help the situation and might even make it worse or create new problems…
about 2 years ago
That’s actually a cop-out….this is a time where it’s finally feasible to have some decent anti-bullying policies in the school systems. It can easily become school policy and help erase the ‘sins’ of the past. With the President finally signing the hate crime legislation, this is a pretty good climate for this to be done.
Carrying on like has been done in the past is just ignorance breeding ignorance. ‘Boys will be boys’ and the good ol’ boy system still running things. Is this a legacy you want to see continue?
about 2 years ago
I agree with you, sixle. I have said for years, that no authority will be able to stop it, they will only make it more dangerous and hidden…such as here, the school said “there’s nothing we can do, it didn’t happen on school grounds”. It has to be stopped by the “victim”. I am gay, I had boyfriends and sex with them from sixth grade on, I was unathletic, into theater, a straight-A brain in school, had gay and perceived gay friends, and all the rest, how many times was I bullied or harrassed? Just once and only once at each new school. My parents made sure I knew how to defend myself (like sending me to a “Rocky” type gym to learn how to fight) and all it took was me beating up the bully (his “gang” would always flee really fast) and no one would mess with me again at that place. Apparently the fact of somebody actually standing up to bullies develops a reputation that travels far. Nowadays, all putting “authorities” in charge has done is make it impossible for a kid to defend HIMSELF, since ANYONE fighting is suspended. This leaves a poor boy completely vulnerable to the jackals (who don’t even CARE what happens to THEM). Even then, in today’s environment, I say “at least learn aikido” if you are being bullied, because aikido is merely defensive, it is not an aggressive martial art, so (a) aikido would stop the attacks, and (b) no school can legitimately claim that you were fighting (aikido just turns the attacks back onto the attackers). If the victim doesn’t put a stop to it, there’s not much else that will make it stop.
This will probably generate replies such as, “Oh get real, how do you fight a gang of bigger boys, I’m only just one person?”…well I LIVED it, I was a homosexually active middle schooler a good decade prior to Stonewall and I can tell you “Yes you can stop a gang.” It’s always the same, beat up the leader and the rest of the cowards will leave you alone. They don’t expect you to actually stand up to them and when you do, and with power and skill, it’s a real surprise attack. Often one good serious punch (but the willingness to do a hell of a lot more) will do it (however I was taught to rapidly keep hitting punch after punch until the bully turns and runs away, and my how satisfying it is when that happens!). Notice that they only attack (or scare) those who they perceive are weaker. Make sure they know that you are not weaker. If I was able to do it, anybody could.
sixle, your being a Goth causing an end to physical abuse, why do you think that is? I am guessing Goths were pretty scary; while the bullies had the courage to insult you or whatever (from a distance, probably, or as they were walking by you and getting away from your physical space), it seems that they were rather leery of any physical confrontation. It’s really an old tribal thing (and even an animal thing), LOOKING scary can prevent an attack. “Fights” in the animal kingdom and among tribal peoples (such as the Maori warriors with their “scary face” tactic) are usually just threatening DISPLAYS. Think of gorillas puffing up and banging on their chests and making loud noises and running at their enemy…they really aren’t intending to fight at all, but cause the other one to back down or run away. Gay people can play that game as well as anybody else, maybe better. I’d be curious, do you suppose people bully Chris Crocker? Oh sure, they probably verbally attack him (from a safe distance), but do you think they would dare physically attack him? I’d bet anything that they leave HIM alone! I sure wouldn’t want to mess with him.
about 2 years ago
Certainly learning how to fight can be a personal solution to a problem, but it’s a band-aid approach to a larger issue. It’s akin to saying the system has failed and now you have to take the law into your own hands. On most campuses, both boys will be suspended or expelled for fighting, no matter who started it. And if there is physical damage, like a broken nose or a tooth knocked out, the aggressor/winner sets his parents up for a civil suit.
It’s ridiculous in today’s HS situations to offer physical self-defense as a solution on campus. Off campus, it’s another story, but the fact remains that civil action is always a present possibility. In addition, there will be many meek boys that just won’t fight or lean to fight for themselves, period. Calling them pussies or sissies because of it, is exactly what brought on the problems in the first place.
about 2 years ago
I can relate to your story. I was considered to be a good looking kid and even cute. During the 50′s and 60′s Bruce was not a good name to have. I was skinny, shy and withdrawn and an easy target for bullies. Lucky for me I could fight very well and would earn the respect of the bullies. But today there is a new ethic on the street. You can be shot.
about 2 years ago
Bruce, I remember those days when Bruce was supposed to be a “gay” name (pronounced with a lisp, “Bruth”); fortunately that craziness seems to have finally blown away. I am glad that you won the respect of the bullies, whom it is possible might have been attracted to you in the first place (even if they ultimately really were straight–human sexuality is really way more complex than people give it credit for). And what is defined as a “bully” is a fluid state, as well (a bully CAN become your friend once you’ve stood up to him and such a friend may never bother another kid for the rest of his life). I love how when kids solve problems by themselves at their level, problems go away–I see that all the time at the school where I work.
Much like some of your experiences, after I earned the respect that made the rest of my years in that school safe, a tough group of jocks (who could have been enemies) invited me over to play strip poker, an invitation I gladly accepted, and it was during that occasion that I was taught how to masturbate. I probably would have been shown how soon enough by somebody else, but I will never forget that it was THESE GUYS who did it. I will never know what made them invite me, somebody not part of their crowd, but I will always remain thankful that they did!
about 2 years ago
Good on him i say :)
as to the other kids and there views only place that comes from is others cause they sure as hell werent born prejiduced
about 2 years ago
I salute his courage.
about 2 years ago
im the person in my class who protect the 2 small boys in class i make this sinces 2 years or something because i make power training very often i can play the bodyguard for this 2 thats a realy good feeling …
about 2 years ago
wow! on you go Tyler, you are one brave boy, you have my respect and support, Simon
about 2 years ago
I’ve spent a lot of time in Toledo, and have lots of friends there. It’s a really conservative, narrow minded town. I think basically sums up the situation.
about 2 years ago
Here’s a new one from last week in Houston:
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/7220896.html
about 2 years ago
If there is tangible, provable evidence/documentation, the best way to go is not with the local DA or prosecuting attorney, but to sue the bully’s families in civil court. Problem will be connecting the suicide directly to actual school bullying, since it happened at home.
Since it’s unlikely that you’re going to teach a bully (and family) a lesson in criminal court…no more than some token community service or juvenile time…..suing them for real, reward-able funds from a jury decision for example, will hurt them the most. And the school distinct itself can be sued with favorable results….whether or not it torpedoes their budget for liability insurance is moot. They had the chance to change their policies and they didn’t, which makes them accountable.
There are always a lot of excuses & denial offered after a tragedy like this, but they are nothing more than that, excuses for poor policy.
about 2 years ago
Tyler, you go for it. What a cool kid! and I love his supportive mom.
about 2 years ago
Love your icon and love your no nonsense comment. I fully agree. When I finally came to the end of all the posts, this one really cracked me up. Tyler, you go for it.
about 2 years ago
Tyler was on Good Morning America:
http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/boy-fights-bullying-for-the-right-to-cheer-22181559