Man Up that Sissy Kid of Yours!

Gay marriage opponents in the United States have long used parents’ fear of having gay children, but now it seems a martial arts academy is capitalizing on this fear, too. The Academy of Martial Arts RDCA ran two ads showing a little boy participating in generally feminine practices: applying lipstick and wearing high heels. The ads have just two words other than the group’s logo: “Karate lessons.”

The Facebook page of RDCA describes the academy as “Your Ultimate Empowerment Group.” It continues, “If you are serious about your self improvement and empowerment you have reached the right group.” But the advertisements seem to imply that the martial arts academy is not looking to empower students who have alternative gender expressions. Towelroad accused the Fla. academy of targeting  “parents wanting to ‘man up’ kids who express an interest in their mother’s clothes.”

Florida is known for its anti-gay politics. Gay adoption is still illegal there, and now a gubernatorial candidate has suggested going further to ban gay foster parenting too. [via 365gay]


42 thoughts on “Man Up that Sissy Kid of Yours!”

  1. There’s something deeply fascinating in psychological terms about a country/culture that is SO paranoid of being thought of as weak.

    1. I agree. It says basically that we are weak as individuals. It also shows us that we have a long was to go to becoming truly civilized.

    2. My country is a spoiled nation in its adolescents compared to an older and more mature Europe or any mature country or culture that values education and the arts. Much like an adolescent we are struggling with our identity. We tend to be anti-intellectual and devalue education. We take pride in our rugged individualism, antisocial street culture, violence and aggression. We identify with the high school bully. The boys want to be like them and the girls love them. After all we are a nation that allowed George W. Bush to be appointed as president (Bush was not elected). Bush was a symptom of a nation out of control.

    3. This is not quite the same as martial arts, but still in a similar line of thought about trans* individuals.

      Have any of you seen the beautifully made Thai movie, Beautiful Boxer ? It’s very good in showing some of the many struggles of trans* people in Thailand. Here is one of the trailers for it:

      [Please note: This is about Asians (Thais), so if you don't like seeing beautiful Asian men with great physiques, don't click on it.]

      1. This is an incredible movie on so many levels. If you have some experience in kick boxing you will find the fight seens to be among the best you will find on film. I fell in love with Thailand during my tour of duty in Vietnam. Beautiful people and a beautiful country.

      2. Interesting how some will automatically assume and believe that as soon as a male does even the tiniest of female attire — whether it be make-up or clothes — that they are by nature weak. As another said, “Some of the toughest people on the planet are the transvestites, straight and gay” — that is so true … since they must go through life on a daily basis fielding ridicule and some of the worst comments from just anybody in public and even being victims of hate crimes.

        When in fact [American history], one of our [gays'] proudest moments came when … get this nowdrag queens roused up and began fighting back at the New York Police Dept. From Wikipedia: “Stonewall riots were a series of spontaneous, violent demonstrations against a police raid that took place in the early morning hours of June 28, 1969, at the Stonewall Inn [Gay club], in the Greenwich Village” The vast majority of these were drag queens/transvestites fighting for gay rights.

        I know it’s easy to be embarrassed (for them or yourselves, it’s never absolute) when you see them and they publicly exhibit their [sometimes over-the-top] feminine ways. But in the last 20 years or so, I’ve learned to respect these inner brave souls for their openness and willing to show that different isn’t necessarily bad.

        1. Are both images above actually real? I mean, are they actual photographs of a boy doing those things? Or are they just drawings/paintings of him doing them? Some artists can be so good at 3-dimensional work it’s hard to tell them apart.

          And then begs the question(s): Who’s boy is this? Are these candids or staged photos? If staged, if they’re so against a boy being curious about female attire, why would they submit a boy to this? If he hadn’t thought about it before, I’m sure he has since (assuming they are real photos). Wow, that would sure be a dilemna for the religious right — by trying to condemn the act of cross-dressing, they actually instill the curiosity into the boy without realizing it!

  2. Haha, I used to try on my mother’s heels when I was about that age.

    I also took karate lessons.

    When think back about that experience; sparring with other young boys until we dripped with sweat, the intense look in their eyes when the adrenaline got pumping, goofing off in the showers afterwards…

    shit, yeah! Send this boy to karate lessons! Maybe put him on a wrestling team while you’re at it, that will straighten him out for sure!

    1. That was so my story too. Omg! You got me thinking.
      But you forgot the national tournaments when we stayed over at the Hilton Regency and made passionate love with our sparing buddies, or, just lightly sexually experimented during overnight stays. We kicked ass in the morning!

      My first and only sexual partner was at such an event.

      1. Just out of curiosity and NOT trying to start anything, I was just reading and leaving a reply on the ‘Leo’ post. You say there that you wonder how many of your friends had unprotected sex before having sex with you and how you will be so much more careful from now on.
        Here you say you had your first and only sexual partner at a karate tourney. I am rather confused. which is it? And congratulations on the second degree…I never made black…only brown.

      2. Damn… I’ve been in Tae Kwon Do since I was 8 years old, we have no showers, stay in separate rooms… where’s all my action? Lucky <_<

    2. it must be dreadful to take a kick in the chops from a stiletto – ah mean it could dislodge a false-eyelash: on the other hand, if ya live next-door to a cage fighter, ah suggest ya anonymously rig-out his snarling brat in a Wonder Woman costume when his dad ain’t looking ….

  3. would this subject matter be allowed/used in the UK to advertise?, i think not! but I’m not sure, what do others think! I personally have no thoughts on this either way, if people are stupid enough to be influenced by this bullshit it shows how narrow minded they are. some of the hardest bouncers I ever knew were gay, back in the 60/70s they had to be, homosexuality was illegal and gay bashing was quite a hobby at weekends in some areas of the north, these hard bastards were employed to deny them access to certain clubs. I know this will sound quite alien to most of you milkboys but that’s how it was back then in the good old days!!.

  4. My parents were a very attractive couple. My father was a composit of Errol Flyn (spelling?) and Clark Gable and my mother could have easily been casted as any hysterical women opposit John Wayne in a John Ford movie. They fought and argued almost every day of their 50 plus years of marriage. The family friends who knew how this affected me would often say “Bruce, that’s love.” I knew even then that was not the kind of love I would ever want. So I had heterosexual role models and I was a product of early 1960’s teen culture and I was a star athelte. Look how I turned out.

    1. Funny you should mention Clark Gable. My father wanted to name me after him, but my mother thought I should be named after my father (Jr., III, etc.). She won out (and I always hated my names growing up because of bullying and being made fun of) . . . until I was in my 20s . . . after military service when I changed my name to what I wanted it to be.

      1. The name given to us by our parents can mean so much. My father named me Bruce and gave me the middle name of Lora which was supposedly his adoptive father’s first name. The middle name is supposedly Irish-Galic for Lory. Ultimately my initials, BLT would not mean bacon, lettus and tomato but an abbreviation for “built.” My father wanted me to be a big bruiser of a man. That was his story. Back in the 1960’s the name Bruce was associated with being queer and sissy. In the 60’s the popular song “Big Bad John” was later made into a spoof of “Big Bad Brucie.” I cannot tell you how much pain that spoof created for me.

        I always wanted to change my name but now I am finally comfortable with Bruce. However, I am in the process of completing a coming of age novel and chose the pen name of Brett Thorne. I never used my middle nane. onoy the initials

  5. Maybe I’m polyannish, but couldn’t the message also be read as “Karate lessons – because he’s going to need them, with all the homophbic bullies running around?”

  6. This is the letter I sent them:

    It seems subversively anti-gay. It’s saying to my four gay friends that they can’t be themselves. It also says they are bad without your karate lessons.

    Honestly the ad seems targeted to homophobic or gay-scared parents.

    Whatever happened to “I love this student/child regardless of his idiosyncrasies. And I will mold his character though the discipline of martial arts without supplanting his given nature, or destroying and ridiculing his person.

    This ad came to my attention when two of my karate friends asked me “…why The Academy of Martial Arts RDCA, was preaching hate?”

    I told them that was not your intention.

    Was that your intention? If so, then I suggest you suppress your private agenda and begin putting character-building and martial arts first.

    Liam Pacard
    Black Belt 2nd Degree
    And Gay

  7. This ad was not commissioned by the club. It was an in house idea of the advertising agency and was never supposed to go public. Blame them.
    Btw, from what I hear, there are plenty of martial arts clubs who accept all, irrespective of their sexuality.

  8. If this was an ad for a football team or something similarly “masculine”-related, I would be offended by it. But karate? The point of karate isn’t even to encourage “manning up” or fighting at all – it’s emotional and mental training as much as anything else, and focuses more on *defense* than anything.

    Not only that, but plenty of girls learn and practice karate. Being able to defend oneself against the homophobes and bullies of the world would certainly be a useful skill, and that’s how I interpreted these ads. *shrug*

  9. Ok….a little balance. Yeah, they are targeting parents fears, But I have to say it couldnt hurt most people to “toughen up” a little. people in our society are getting to be WIMPS…….WHINY WIMPS!!!!!!!!!
    I admire what it is to be a man. I have a close gay friend and a straigh best friend (both male) who are both very “weak” in terms of being willing to take on new experiences or go through difficult experiences. Some of the best experiences i have ever gone through have been tough…going on long hilly hikes to see waterfalls hidden in the valleys of arkansas….my friends would probably bitch the whole quarter of a mile that they would get before they turned back.
    I also admire strong women…….I have quite a few female friends who look great in a dress, are straight, and tough as reinforced concrete.

  10. I think we’re losing the meaning of the word tough or weak.
    Do we want our boys to grow up being able to physically bash someone, or do we want them to be able to handle a job rejection, or a relationship collapse.
    Perhaps even go further and define weak as being unable to be yourself, express yourself, or take on a challenging task, without whining.
    Being a real man is about being comfortable in your own skin. They’re the ones we admire, or look up to. Not the brawny brainless ones who cover their weakness with their bruteishness.

  11. Some of the toughest people on the planet are the transvestites, straight and gay, out there everyday dressed in the clothes they love. Or those transgendered who go through the surgery to be the people they want and should be are heroic for just being themselves.
    Why do we consider a burley man, unshaven, sleeves rolled up with a half smoked cigar or cigarette in his mouth, yelling and waving his fists as being tough? Tough to be near maybe. It’s all for show… it’s a smoke screen for that person to feel manly. The quiet ones, like my old art teacher, 5’3″ of him… sweetest man you would ever meet, was a ranger in WWII and killed 40+ Germans in the trenches with his hands, silently, and alone. He wasn’t loud or waving a flag. He just did it. And suffered silently, except those few times when he trusted someone.
    I am not impressed with vulgar displays of butch redneckism… is that a word? I’ve known too many sweet, often effeminate people, who were tougher than Margret Thatcher under that smile, but never course or vulgar. And more often than not, will walk away from a blustering bully so not to get involved in a fight because that never ends happily for anyone.

  12. In my country, some years back, there was a karate teacher who forced a dozen or so of his 12-15 year old pupils into receiving analsex. He didn’t use condoms and infected them all with Aids.

    “Here ya go, yer kid’s all manly now – Enjoy!”

  13. when I have a child and if he turns out to be a boy hopefully he will be pretty as a girl and I would (of coarse) let him choose whatever activity appeals to him to do but I would definitely raise him to also enjoy “female activities” as well (like adorning him with beautiful things ♥ ) and I’d hope he wouldn’t be so influenced by outside boys doing strictly “boyish things” as to not do girly activities also because the “female world” is out there for anybody to enjoy and indulge in. Though I don’t think I’d have to worry about him being teased for being a sissy because I would hope that my boy would be so pretty that he’d pass as female and I could just raise him as you would a girl!

    1. That tends to really screw kids up. Honestly, I have known boys who were raised this way, One of them committed suicide, the others are right on the edge.

  14. I’ve taken various martial arts since I was a little boy…I still do, it’s a huge part of my life. In fact, I instruct nowadays. That being said… never once have I noticed any kind of homophobic trends among martial arts schools/clubs. Ever. And clearly there is no kind of anti-gay message going on in martial arts, as it definitely didn’t work on me.

    Just like wrestling, most martial involve a lot of touching, rolling around, and all those kinds of things, along with beating the shit out of each other with pads on (don’t act like you wouldn’t enjoy it :P)

    The vast majority of people taking martial arts are preteen boys or teenage boys around my age (16,17,18). Regardless, they have never mentioned anything about homosexuality to me, ever.

  15. Let me just say that a boy can be boyish and masculine, and still be gay. I wish I was more androgynous, and in many ways I am. But I have always had a fascination with boys, and being a young boy myself, I tend to take part in those things that I love about them, because I am one of them. I have more straight friends than I do gay friends. The straight friends accept me. For the most part, I dress like them, talk like them….well I live like them.

    There is nothing wrong with being androgynous. But there is also nothing wrong with being masculine, or boyish, as long as the boy doesn’t become a vulgar barbaric man.

    In my opinion, a distinct mix between androgynous and masculine is unbelievably attractive.

    1. Cory, you sound so unbeliveably real. If this is honestly you, I have just become a fan of yours. I will look forward to more posts from you. Forgive me for my scepticism. I don’t know your age but you are very articulate, perceptive and intelligent for a teen boy. You say the right things. Your coments make sense to me more than you can ever know. I will follow your posts. You sound good and I sencerely hope you are for real.

      1. Thanks, you a very kind. I assure you that I’m for real, and I’m 16. I’ll make a thread of myself on the milkboard some day, I just have to find the time. Of course I can’t prove anything, so I hope that you can just take my word for it :)

  16. It seems to me that it is the heterosexual couples that are creating gay people. We still cant reproduce yet, so I figure gay children come from straight parents. I know I did. I think teaching martial arts to gay kids is great. Surprise surprise to the basher who gets to experience what “being light on his feet” can really mean!

  17. I find it hard to believe that every very young boy hasn’t slipped into his mother’s high heels.

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