Not Over Yet

The bullying that led 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer to commit suicide earlier this month is not over.
Rodemeyer’s parents, Tim and Tracy, shared a disturbing story of what happened when their daughter went to a school dance to take her mind off the death.

"We thought it would be great to be with all of her friends, then all of sudden a Lady Gaga song came on and they all started chanting for Jamey, all his friends and whatever," Tracy Rodemeyer said. "Then the bullies that put him into this situation started chanting ‘You’re better off dead, we’re glad you’re dead.’"


62 thoughts on “Not Over Yet”

  1. Wow. They are supposed to be part of the future generations on this planet and this his how they act? I dont think we will last very long on this world if they are all like that -_-

    So much for the love and support the poor girl was expecting from her friends..

    1. I don’t think it was her friends that were doing this. It sounded like the song came on and people started chanting, and then the bullies started with their crap

  2. If that’s not psychological proof bullying is responsible for a lot of teen suicides, and that the bullies should have to face the music for it, I don’t know what is.

  3. A curse take them and their descendants for a hundred years. No one should be forced to endure the psychological pain that boy endured and no one should be allowed to inflict such a thing without harsh punishment following swiftly after.

  4. I think this bullying is a posture learned at home from male role models. I compare this to racism. If your parents are racist even a little in front of you in the home IT WILL go with you through life. Parents I think take it for granted how much pressure these kids who are dealing with puberty and to belong in school means everything. People just don’t take it seriously enough. I’m sick of seeing us act like this !!

      1. I would disagree, i think they would only be affected by their parents if they are secluded form others apart from those that think like them and their parents. setting a good environment outside of the home can and will combat the ideology going on at home.

  5. sickening. this disease of hatred goes far beyond the boarders of america.. god help us all.

  6. Not a fan of GaGa, her music or her as a person, but what she’s doing/has done for LGBT teens is comparable only to Stephen Fry.

  7. Right, some people just have no heart or any empathy. It allways was like that and will be like that. But they shouldn’t feel like they are invincible!
    Some bullies just need to punched hard and personally into their face to make them stand back. They do not need to rot in prison for life, Good old unexpected and incapacitating fist punch works here best. It may seem barbaric but I just do not see that anything else could work.

    1. I doubt a punch in the face would work with someone w/o empathy, but it would relieve some anger.

  8. Very sad. RIP Jamey :(

    Seriously this just makes me cry. Although it was a very long time ago when I was his age, I experienced similar bullying in school, so I know first hand how much pain it causes, and how bleak things appear to be. I’ve said for decades that adults don’t take bullying in school seriously enough. It’s absolutely not acceptable in the adult world; if you treated your peers or your associates in your work world in such a manner, you’d be instantly called out on it. Why therefore do all these parents and teachers allow it? I’ve heard the age old excuse that ‘kids will be kids’ way too many times. A zero tolerance approach to this problem is way overdue.

  9. The whole story is just so sad, and it’s beyond my comprehension how cruel some people can be. I think that in a lot of cases, things like this start at home with the parents that don’t seem to care, or notice, how mean their children are being.

  10. It doesn’t surprise me at all. It’s very sad.

    Of course the bullies have to “double down” on their hatred, otherwise they might have to admit what a shitty thing they did in the first place.

      1. Well, maybe not kill themselves, but they always had to die by the end of the story or no one would publish it…

    1. @ tyler – tyler where have you been?
      i and a few others here have been worried sick over you.
      i am very glad you are still with us.
      are you alright?
      please hang on, hang in there.
      we care.

  11. how much you want to bet they were part of the 500 that came all weeping and crap at the funeral? As for learning it from the “male” role model, it is learned at home period, male AND female. Look at the news and some of the worst bashers are women, ie, bachman.

    Sadly, we made huge strides during the 80’s and 90’s but I don’t see much more changing going on :(

  12. There is something definitely wrong with your society, dear yankees… or is it just that there is something wrong with the world… What a waste… again…

    1. nope, such shits are in every country… it’s just that the US tries to televise everything.
      Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t… let’s just hope these snippets are kindling the spirit of people.

  13. You know, this might be a little too deep, but it just about sums up what I felt when I watched this.

    “The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity — in all this vastness — there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us. It’s been said that astronomy is a humbling, and I might add, a character-building experience. To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”

    -Carl Sagan

    1. Thank you for your post,Carl Sagan was a very compassionate person who worked to bring people together by showing how small we are in the grand scheme of things.You chose a perfect quote for the times.I’m sorry this was the reason you got to share it. Peace

    2. Tait, that quote rocks. Thank you EVER so much.
      I don’t think, based on the above, that I’ve read quite enough of Carl Sagan. Perhaps, I should.
      I don’t think I’ve cried so hard in quite some time while watching a video clip as this one above w/ Jamey, despite my having heard bits and pieces of this story for most of this week.
      I am a martial arts instructor, and my instructor’s key watch-word that’s always stuck w/ me is “compassion”, for without it truly atrocious and heinous deeds and actions can come to pass.
      Jamey, rest in peace, and also be assured that we will go forward with a renewed sense of urgency to carry out what you supported.

  14. This is the downside to the “It gets better” campaign crowd. I don’t think Savage ever intended this concept to be the end-all answer to LGBTQI suicides, but it has often been taken to be.

    In this case the boy was clearly in the “It gets better” camp. Obviously, it didn’t work for him and maybe the other resources available to him were ignored like the Trevor Hotline. Maybe the personal failure of the “It gets better” campaign made him despondent to try anything else. Lot’s of young adults live in the now, making the future irrelevant. They need solutions & alternatives that can start working tomorrow & next week, not yrs away.

    Such a beautiful soul…such a needless waste…..

    1. Well, the It Gets Better project is a great thing..the problem is…you can only go so far in making the victims more resilient.
      It Gets Better only helps the victim tolerate harassment cant solve the whole problem of teen suicides because the cause is completely external…we simply have a society full of bigots..who teach their kids to be bigots.

      What really needs to be strengthened in this country is REAL common moral fiber…even as someone who isn’t religious…it depresses me so much that the people who encourage this sort of bullying call themselves Christians. If only they understood the real message of their messiah… you would see so many more people in this country bending over backwards to help gay people without a glance at their sexual preference….and that extends out to all parts of American society…right now we are one of the least charitable per-capita societies in the western world. Guess whats number one on the agenda of the largest political Christian organization in the country? Keeping the Bush tax cuts for the upper class. Not setting money aside to make better schools, not setting aside money to feed the homeless or taking care of vererans….but keeping more money in the pockets of the wealthy. Even if God is real, how on Earth do the Christians in this country think they are pleasing him with their actions?

      Sorry for the rant there….what I meant to say is….the source of gay bullying in this country is just a problem within an even bigger problem.

      1. The “It Gets Better” campaign was the basket that Jamey put all his apples into. I don’t know the case personally, but it looks like that was the only ‘program’ he tried. It’s NOT the only program out there, just the latest-almost a fad. They are a lot of hard working people counseling and manning hotlines that work at teen suicide prevention each and every day.

        Schools cop-out in this arena more often than not. They often whine it’s impossible to implement a zero tolerance for bullying and harassment…it’s not. Even the loss of one young adult should make the required effort mandatory. Sometimes, you just can’t tolerate parents coming into schools to rescue their bully sons and saying ‘boys will be boys’. Bust these same parents with some decent hate laws and litigation and things will change, albeit slowly.

        We do very little to reduce potential violence in American society,…in fact, we condone it, sanction it and pay homage to it.

  15. Look at it this way. All species go extinct. Of all species that have ever existed, 99.9% are extinct. This is the good news. Don’t ever forget that, and that is the ONLY reason that it will get better.

  16. I’m worried that this will lead to a law that will impose extremely harsh sanctions on bullies, even prison. Bullies are merely misguided children and do no deserve punishment of the law. I’m not saying ‘boy’s will be boys’, merely that using the traditional justice system will not work. They are not murderers, they should not be treated like they are. That would be counter productive and make the situation worse.

    What we need is to enforce that what they have done is bad, but don’t shoulder them with the guilt for the rest of their lives. Again, it would be counter productive to shoulder them with that burden for the rest of their lives. We need to educate and enforce them so we turn out productive citizens, not broken people with emotional baggage.

    We are not animals, we should not lust for the blood of children.

    1. But the fact of the matter is that we ARE animals.
      And bullies DO lust for the blood of other children.

      There will NEVER be a “law that will impose extremely harsh sanctions on bullies” for the same reason that Dick Cheney and George W. Bush still roam the streets as free men.

      1. I know that we are animals, but we are sentient and can rise above instinctual feelings. If we couldn’t do this, we wouldn’t have build the complicated and nuanced societies we have today.

        Bullies don’t ‘lust’ for the blood of other children, stop being a sensationalist idiot. This is going to be twisted into me into saying the bullies should get away with it, which I don’t think at all.

    2. Barky:
      Bullies are merely misguided children and do no[t] deserve punishment of the law.”

      That is only their offspring. Who do you think they learned their bullying ideas and tactics from?

      Sorry, I disagree with nearly all of your statements. They [all] should accept their responsibilities regarding the death and waste of good human beings who they most definitely helped [cause] the demise of — especially the younger ones — even through all of high school age.

      Just like graffiti [artists?], the parents need to be confronted and, yes, punished in some way to perpetuate their bigotry. And in some ways, I’d advocate looking seriously into some of these “churches” who openly and even brazenly call for the “demise” of anyone of homosexual tendencies even if they are only perceived to be by them.

    3. Having real, working hate-crime legislation is not just another superficial law. It’s a viable step off the violence train that is America. You can’t sit there and say it will never work, because it’s not been tried.

      I agree that misguided, young bullies who would otherwise be decent individuals shouldn’t have to bear this shame the rest of their lives. They can be forced into community service and forced to help the very people who they have targeted for whatever reasons.

      If you’re old enough to hurt somebody and understand that you’re hurting another, then you should bear the responsibility for your actions.

  17. Future Teapublicans of America. They cheer for executions, cheer for letting the sick die without insurance, and boo soldiers.

      1. I think Alan was referring to the gay soldier that was booed.Unfortunately, his love for, and willingness to die for his country means nothing to right-wingers.

  18. Underneath “bullying” is fear of homosexuality desires. People who make fun of someone else’s homosexuality are also people who are obsessed with homosexuality in general, probably because they have not dealt with homosexual or bisexual feelings they once had or still have. All people, young and old, need to feel relaxed about all kinds of sexuality or else this kind of problem will keep happening.

  19. I hardly think this will survive the bias of political correctness that this site suffers from but in case it does: Look, the reality is that some people will belong to a loving society and some will grow up to be deadbeat fathers, rapists, murders, or career politicians. Our job is to sus out the garbage and delete it from our lives as adults we are allowed to do this. Unfortunately children have zero rights in society today. If you are a kid, you are basically put in a locked building with rabid animals. I feel if a child makes torment known to teachers and nothing is done then that school needs to be sued out of existence and administrators FIRED from there job and to lose there teaching certificate. Once enough of this happens you bet change will begin from the top down and administrators WILL put the screws to the little motherfuckers in the classroom. It is time to make a clear separation between the garbage and the rest of society. Two school systems, One where parents are involved and another with the children of parents who don’t give a rats ass.

  20. Well said Moped .

    The High School i went to in Connecticut ,
    had this stupid viewpoint that say
    someone got beat up by some thugs , both the victim and thug would get suspended.
    Often the culprit was not brought to light , but the
    hurt person contacted the school and was suspended for being involved .

    This then lead to the behavior that no one dared
    stand up to declare wrongdoing.

    I remember offering a friend to go find the thugs for good ol asswipping. Sadly he declined.

    On the otherhand someone got stabed one year ,
    so maybe going unarmed would have been a bad idea …

  21. It seems like it stems from general ME centered attitude. I am always ashamed when people I now refer to persons we don’t know superciliously. Like “who the fuck is he!”
    It is implanted in our subconciousness. If you look cartoons meant for children you understand what I mean. There are only superheros and villains. You see hatred, revenge, justice. Good and bad. Only real world isn’t that simple. If you say you hate haters, that won’t make you any better than just plain hater.

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