Rest in Peace, Anthony

A bisexual teen from Lancashire, England was found hanging in the woods after suffering homophobic bullying in school. Before 16-year-old Anthony went missing in November, he spent the day with his girlfriend Charlotte. His body was found on January 14, hanging in the woods near his home. Anthony’s mother blames her son’s classmates, who harassed him about his sexuality.

“Anthony was getting bullied by girls for two years. He would get shouted ‘gay boy’ at, get slapped in the face, come home with his school jumper ripped and even got his phone stolen. He would be upset but pick himself up and go back the next day,” she said. “I spoke to his teachers about it, but Anthony begged me not to get involved because it was making it worse and he’d get embarrassed.”

Though Anthony had been with Charlotte for two years, his mother always suspected he might be gay. She had learned he had flirted with men online, but hesitated to bring it up. “He was still with Charlotte and I was worried he was confused about his sexuality,” she said. “I kept it to myself as I didn’t want to embarrass him or scare him off talking to me.”

When the police found a suicide note in Anthony’s backpack. “Well, I’m gone but not completely,’” it read. “I will be watching over you and making sure you make the right choices. And don’t forget me, I’m in heaven looking down. Please don’t grieve and try to move on as best you can, I love you all so very much.” He left his XBox to his younger brother, but didn’t leave any explanation as to why he had taken his own life.

“I think his feelings for the same sex left him struggling to know what to do about it,” his mother said. “There was no one there for Anthony,” she added. “I just feel sorry — I feel like I let him down.”

  

47 thoughts on “Rest in Peace, Anthony”

  1. why why why ? Why can’t people just live there own lives.
    what did he ever do so bad to deserve this, it is his life to live he is the only one that has to answer to himself. if other people would pay attention to there own lives. and worry about there ways of living. he was happy and I guess that was wrong in the eyes of the girls. I wish people would understand feelings for others. no matter what he was he was a human a person that loved life. and now that is gone.

  2. There should never be a reason to take ones life, however sadly we do not live in this perfect world.

    Is there a reason why we can’t turn a date (suggestions) in to an international/global anti-bully day, with TV showing what effect bullying can have and info about where those getting bullied can turn to…
    Maybe even a beneficiary concert to draw attention to this needless suicide effect bullying can trigger

    side note: Looking at the pic I immediately get drawn to his eyes, which are beautiful… Wish he would have seen an other way out (might be harder but definitely worth it down the road, quirky or not)

  3. R.I.P. Bro
    ich kann mich auf englisch leider noch nicht so gut ausdrücken, was ich gerade empfinde. es macht mich unglaublich traurig zu lesen das sich so junge Menschen umbringen weil so ein paar Arschlöcher meinen sie dissen zu müßen. Es sind MENSCHEN denen ihr das antut. STOPPT DEN SCHEIß =*(

    1. With the help of translate programs and my high school German (if you know German better than I, please correct any inaccuracies):

      R.I.P. Bro
      Unfortunately, I can not express in English very well what I feel right now. It makes me incredibly sad to read that young people need to kill themselves because assholes think they have to diss them. These are PEOPLE that they are doing this to. STOP THE CRAP =*(

  4. the mother said there was no one there for him. this is what happens when the homophobes and gays themselves force a line of division between young and old gays. 30 years ago, gays boys who felt they had no one to turn to could always talk to the old neighborhood homosexual. it kept the kid from feeling all alone in the world. now adult gay males are scared to help the gay kids because they may be accused of being a molester. most of us old fags would love the opportunity to mentor a gay youth, not for sex, but simply to have some youthful energy around. it’s so sad the way things are now. gays of all ages UNITE!

    1. Gays were united in the 50s and 60s. There was solidarity among us. Gay liberation put an end to that and broke us into groups fighting against each other. It’s exactly what the repressive goons had prayed for. Be careful what you wish for.

    2. I would urge you(and other like you), to take the plunge. You might have misguided homophobes doing the ‘witch hunt’ thing and trying spread carp about you. But if you’ve been careful and haven’t done anything improper, you’ll come out of it….I know by experinece.

      Being afraid to do the right thing doesn’t help the young adults at all.

  5. He actually had a daughter with his girlfriend.. I guess there were considerably more problems in his family than just his alleged sexuality.

    Quite frankly, killing yourself despite having children is a serious dick move. And probably the very reason why people that age shouldn’t have children in the first place.. they are still way too self absorbed and irresponsible. Can’t take care of someone else’s life if you quite obviously can’t even take care of your own.

    1. wow, way to blame the victim, well done! I’m glad we can talk about all the things he did wrong instead of tackling the problems bullying obviously caused according to his mum! /s

      1. I certainly don’t blame him for being bullied, the only crime here he was a victim of. But I certainly do blame him for killing himself, were the only real victim was his daughter. The moment you have a child you’re not just responsible for yourself any more. And to just run away from your problems and leave your daughter behind like that is, in my opinion, inexcusably selfish and cowardly.

        Suicide is always selfish, and we should really stop romanticizing it like that. Yes, bullying is bad, but so is killing yourself, and you’re an giant, selfish ass for doing it and for punishing the very people who actually cared about you.

      2. Gotta say I’m with tim on this one. Normally, I feel awful for anyone that would take their own lives and think they have the right to do to anything to themselves. It bugs me when others call the act selfish. But, people that have young children are not in the same category. If you choose to have a child, it is your responsibility to leave everything about you behind and take care of that kid. I feel bad for the guy, I really do, but I also think this was unfair of him to do to his new little family.

        1. Tim and Mememe, I’m sorry but you just killed that kid all over again. You both called him a selfish(insert what ever). You didn’t blame him? Yes you did. You called him selfish and blamed that for his decision. It wasn’t selfishness that killed him. It was the god damn bullying.

          Here’s what I think. I hope that the both of you never felt the kind of pain he did. I also hope you never, ever feel that kind of pain he did. Ever. And if ever you did feel that kind of pain and you still blame him then shame on you.

          Why am I so harsh on the both of you? I’ve gone through the exact same pain he has. I have marks to prove it. I also have marks on my soul. The last three times sent me to the hospital. All my life I’ve had to deal with this wanting to die. Even when I was a parent. As a kid there was a time where school was an escape from home but before that school itself was hell because of bullying. Now I’m a grandfather and see my kid all grown up and working hard at making a life for his wife and kids and of course himself. Still, there are days that I’d be happy to stop breathing but I keep going. Not for them but for me! So many things I’d like to add but I won’t.

          Anthony’s name will be added to my list. Damn it, I was hopping it would be a short list.

          1. I think you are mising their point. Saying someone is selffish does not equate blaming.
            You on the other hand cant just blame bullying, as horrific as it is.
            That guy had options open to him that he did not consider carefully enoguh and apparently a loving parent which is a good basis for change. He was bullied in school? Transfer to another school. This is not even running away it quite simply is the easiest solution to an exisiitng problem. Based on the article his mother tried helping but he refused that help and instead chose to kill himself.
            I also believe all these sob story articles are becoming part of the problem where young people tend to ignore their options and instead just commit suicide for at least it will make a nice article.
            Bullying is idiotic and harmful yes, but killing yourself is not the only way out of it. Remember that girl that killed herself after cyber bullying on the internet? Why not just switch the internet off, or visit other forums on it? Why stay where you are obviously not liked and dont feel well?
            And back to our example at hand. If his mother offered support why ignore it and go on thinking he could take on the world alone to then kill himself leaving his kid behind?

            I do not condem suicide generally. I rather think it is very much justified in a variety of situations. However, as stated previously, I also believe that some of those are not considered carefully enough. I once observed two girls wanting to kill themselves by drowning because, as it turned out after their failed attempt, their parents had cut their pocket money as punishment. This is simply ridiculous and quite polemically, after hearing their reasons, I questioned my decision to intervene.
            These articles by themselve do not help this problem. Neither will bullies stop bullying nor will a bulliee get any comfort or help out of it but instead is left thinking this matter has no other solution than suicide. So enough with those articles already and enough with people like you preventing a serious discussion about this topic in general.

            1. I missed the point? Sob stories? Fine. From now on I will simply read the posts and not bother to reply to such coldness. I’ve been through what that kid has gone through. I fucken KNOW how he felt. The hell with this.

            2. What a crock:

              “That guy had options open to him that he did not consider carefully enoguh and apparently a loving parent which is a good basis for change.”

              According to you, that know him so well? This is just presumption.

              “He was bullied in school? Transfer to another school. This is not even running away it quite simply is the easiest solution to an exisiitng problem. Based on the article his mother tried helping but he refused that help and instead chose to kill himself.”

              Easy for you to say. I can’t imagine anyone or any newspaper painting the mother in a bad light after such an incident, even if there is blame to be had. You seem to think newspapers print truth?

              “I also believe all these sob story articles are becoming part of the problem where young people tend to ignore their options and instead just commit suicide for at least it will make a nice article.”

              Anyone who think it will make a nice article (and it might just be you), is obviously mentally unwell and not capable of making sensible decisions.

              “Bullying is idiotic and harmful yes, but killing yourself is not the only way out of it. Remember that girl that killed herself after cyber bullying on the internet? Why not just switch the internet off, or visit other forums on it? Why stay where you are obviously not liked and dont feel well?
              And back to our example at hand. If his mother offered support why ignore it and go on thinking he could take on the world alone to then kill himself leaving his kid behind?”

              Again, trying to use rationalism with suicidal people (who are clearly beyond being rational) is ridiculous. You are presuming the mother was there, every time a child dies the mother is brought out a caring, doting type (there are very few exceptions). Maybe she was, but the newspaper is hardly going to paint her otherwise if not.

              “So enough with those articles already and enough with people like you preventing a serious discussion about this topic in general.”

              What have you added to this but condemnation of a dead boy? Suicide is the hardest, most irrational and irreversible thing one can do. I hope there is someone more caring there for you in your times of need.

          2. I’ve been bullied quite intensely at school myself, just like a lot of other people out there have been. And I myself more than once seriously contemplated suicide, so I really do understand where he is coming from, and why he did it.

            The biggest, if not only reason I decisively refused to harm myself is that, apparently not unlike him, I had people in my life. People that cared about me, that tried to help and support me, even if ultimately unsuccessfully. And the mere thought of betraying and abandoning them like that just broke my heart. So I clenched my teeth together and suffered through it, because I felt I had an obligation to.

            If your all alone out there, and no one cares about you, then go ahead, off yourself. I won’t blame you. But the moment you let people into your life, you share a responsibility. A responsibility to take care of yourself. Imagine what grief his actions caused to his mother, his girlfriend, his friends.. his daughter. I seriously think that what he did to them is many times worse than what his tormentors did to him. It’s probably the worst thing I can imagine doing to your parents. She’ll blame herself for his death for the rest of her life, no matter what his naive suicide note said.

            Like I said, it’s not like I don’t understand him. It’s just that I’m really angry at people like him, who choose the easy way out, who choose to hurt their loved ones like that, instead of biting their teeth together and trying to find a proper solution. And I think that by glorifying suicide like this, by giving suicidal people exactly what they’re looking for, namely 15 minutes of fame and plenty of sympathy, we’re actually encouraging more people to do it.

            So if you’re reading this and are actually contemplating suicide: Get your fucking act together. Life’s a struggle, and you’re just not struggling enough.

            1. The “easy way out”? He wasn’t “struggling enough”? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you listen to yourself sometimes? Holy shit what kind of heartless, numb asshole do you have to be to say something like this? Would you please come down from your high horse and consider that you have no fucking clue about his life and his problems? Not everything can be solved by just “suffering through it” you self-righteous prick.

            2. So you think he made a good choice, then? That everyone in his position is apparently best served by killing himself? Is this really what you think? If not, why the hell are you defending his choice?

              There are plenty of ways to deal with bullying. None of which include killing yourself. What these people need is perspective, and some inner strength. If you go around saying “well, you have my sympathy, I would probably kill myself as well. Go ahead then” you’re not exactly helping. You’re just feeding their self destructiveness.
              It’s not that I don’t feel sympathy for suicide victims. It just that I’m more interested in preventing future suicides than redeem past ones.

              And a good start would be to stop portraying those recent suicides like some kind of noble deed, because that’s most certainly not the kind of inspiration we want to give other people in his situation.

            3. While it may have been harshly put by tim and should in that way never be said to someone in such situation I agree with the core of his message.
              Unfortunately life is tough at times and requires great strength. Each of us can cope with different amounts of suffering and what some may laugh off is incredibly painful to others. I agree that not everything can be solved by suffering through it. However in terms of school bullying, there are very simple options open to anyone suffering from it. Most of these articles have a certain vibe of “there was no other solution” when in fact there are plenty, they just need considering.

              I too believe that glorifying these deaths in this manner is a terrible mistake and actually encourages people to take this route without trying other options. Most unfortunately some will do it for the fame. A phenomenon we also see in the school shootings.

              While my sympathies certainly are with the victims of bullying I refuse to feel sorry on demand for every single person that tops himself off.

            4. This isn’t an ‘individual’ problem; only dealing with gay youth killing themselves. It’s more about the society you live in and how they coexist with LGBT folks. Tolerance means that someone can still disapprove of who you are and what you do-but they don’t harm you. They’re just following the letter of the law…they can still hate you. Acceptance is what we’re after because if we ever come close to it, your sexual orientation won’t matter to anybody except who you are fucking.

              I hurt for each and every one of these boys and the fact that they existed on social media and there’s often videos of them, just makes it that much worse. However, the societies they live in have done ever so poorly on getting resources to them and making them understand all the choices they have at hand. A society that just tolerates LGBT folks is not one that nurtures them as equals.

    1. Are you joking – I think that although females tend to be more loving, when they are evil they can be absolutely, totally evil. I hope these little b*****s are really proud of what they have done. (NOT)

      1. Humans can be loving and humans can be evil. Everything else are silly stereotypes.

        1. “Love” and “evil” are also useless stereotypes. I can’t believe Josh would make such a statement.

            1. I don’t think he can – it does seem a unusual statement to make, but I see he is quite happy to use offensive stereotypes himself as in – (See lower down in the thread)

              “Are you trying to start a war with Brits on this forum? They hotly deny that they are anything but god’s gift to the world!”

              BTW – Anglophone refers to people who speak English as a mother language – not just “Brits”

            2. ‘Love’ and ‘evil’ are subjective values. One man’s meat is another man’s poison, as they say. That is however not quite the same as saying they are ‘useless stereotypes’.

      2. Females imitating stereotypical macho-behaviour seems to be more common in Anglophone countries though.

        1. Are you trying to start a war with Brits on this forum? They hotly deny that they are anything but god’s gift to the world!

          1. Women do make good bullies though, they’re much better at the subtle passive-agressive sort of bullying, whereas guys can’t really pull off that – they can beat the shit out of you, but don’t really make you feel like throwing yourself off a bridge.

            We only need to look at the Great Handbag herself to prove that women can be just as nasty as men.

          2. Oh but we are; it is God’s grace that we are born English, and God’s gift that the English exist.

            However, if you speak to any school teacher in Britain they will most likely confirm that when a British schoolgirl gets someone in their sights, they can turn into witches of pure evil, and create minions out of everyone close enough around them to be pulled into their web.

            It is very sad that this happened, and I cannot imagine what the teachers were doing for it to even get this far as every school I know of has strict punishment for homophobic bullying.

    2. I think it happens more than you realize. I have watched teenagers to old men be bullied by women. Men tend to deal with it differently than if a woman is bullied by a man.

      But it happens, I think we just fail to realize it due to gender roles we are taught.

      (Think of when a girl slaps a boy, vs when a boy slaps a girl)

    3. not that rare as you are probably guessing, come with me in school after winter holidays and I’ll show you, if they once started they more nasty than if boys doing to me, I can tell you :(

    4. Girls know that boys are taught to “never hit a girl,” so they find it’s easy to get away with it. If a boy hits back at a girl, he will almost always get the blame even if she started it.

  6. The more and more I think about it, the more I think genders should be segregated in school. It is said that there is less homophobic bullying that way.

  7. I just have one thing to say: Another one? Oh, God, not another one! It’s killing me inside. What can we do?!! People are so precious! Why don’t they see?

    1. We are killing ourselves with people! Too many people is the source of almost every problem in the world today.

  8. Another very sad story here, and taking what details there are, plus the above comments, it appears to have been a very complicated situation. He may have been gay or bi, or possibly not. His life appears to have been quite tumultuous, what with him being a young teen father, flirting with men online and also being bullied. That’s a lot for a 16 year old to handle. RIP Anthony. :(

  9. We shouldn’t make it that easy to get rid of us. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Live defiantly Queer and free. If you want to hurt someone, hurt those who hurt you. Everyone has a right to defend themselves. Just be smart about it.

    1. That’s not the way it works. There was a schism in the gay world that began with “gay liberation” and its idiotic response to our attackers such as Anity Bryant. The Western world only tolerates “nice” and “normal” gay people who live like “nice” straight couples. Now the gays worst enemies are from among their own ranks.

  10. Culturally speaking, we are all going to have view points from different spectrums. All I know is that a youth no matter where they come from, should never feel enough emotional pain to want to give their life away. The very thought that a beautiful young soul would feel that need draws deep despair from my heart. With the dramatic changes in media, technology, information delivery and nature vs nurture debates, children can be a confused, cruel tornado; socially speaking. A bully may be cruel, but perhaps they suffer for reason unknown as well. No matter the retrospective, continuos emotional pain and feelings of isolation can be detrimental at developmental age ranges. We need to educate, support, and love our youth. I feel emotionally shredded at this boys senseless death and the loss his loved ones must feel.

  11. R.I.P Anthony, our hearts are with you and will be forever. Lets hope this never happens again x

  12. What is going on here Josh. I have to type my name and e-mail in everytime I go for a comment. Are you trying to tell me I should stay away. If so just say so. Are you a loving human,or a evil human,or just a sterotype. @Seb and tim. Your comments make so much sense, because putting these suicides in a glorious but sad picture does not help at all. Now the mother feels she should have done more. The girlfriend most likely feels that she didn’t do more then she did. I didn’t see where he had a daughter, but if so then he just gave up on her. It’s sad when a young person who has so much to live for just calls quits on life. May Anthony rest in peace.

  13. A very sad story and thanks Josh for bringing it to these pages for everyone to read. I feel that some of the comments are rather thoughtless.

    Bullying by girls imho is worse than boys and the fact that boys cannot ‘hit back’ physically makes them feel worthless.

    At only 15 and still legally a ‘child’ he had his whole life in front of him and I really feel for his family and friends.
    I know there is support out there from a number of places but at the end of the day it is how the individual deals with it that is most important.

    How very, very sad and that the demise of young lives (male or female) will continue while there are nasty, evil people in the world.

    RIP Anthony.

  14. 70s 80s more late 80s for me, born 1966, probably gay since 1966. Nobody explains it properly. Four hetor brothers, didnt stop them using me though. 24 when i came out, family didnt disown me as long i kept quiet. so 1990 started working at a university, Students are great as long as they are not in highschool. At uni they start looking after each other.Societies,Groups are great, don’t ever cross them because they will ruin your bussiness (notice i said will).
    25 years working at the same Uni. Did not expect to see changes in my lifetime but i am happy to be witnees to them.

  15. i hate you all for arguing…stupid fags! we lost another brother, son, boyfriend, and who knows what else…i thought this shit was getting better but it really not…

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