Himbeer
milkboys is a community for & about queer boys. Hang out & connect with other LGBT teens without worrying about prejudices or bullies. Here you're home :)
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about 1 year ago
Can’t see the black text if you click enlarge,imgur link perhaps?
about 1 year ago
A lot of this really applies to people who aren’t trans either, such as a “girly” boy. Why is he girly? Just because he doesn’t conform to your ideas of what makes one manly?
I think this post will get a lot of interesting comments as not everyone here is on the same page on this topic. Just yesterday there was a pretty heated debate in chat on this very subject. I just hope everyone can keep it friendly :)
about 1 year ago
“we don’t ask non-trans people what is under their clothes.”
Maybe someone should mention that to some of the types of guys I run into at the bars. :p
about 1 year ago
like
about 1 year ago
I wouldn’t go as far as saying that some of these things are transphobic. People who say them don’t necessarily have bad intentions, they’re just misinformed. Or completely in the dark.
Seems to me that confusing general curiousness or lack of knowledge for hating can lead to bad feelings on both sides. I’ve seen some LGBT people get offended and become offensive as a reaction to (badly expressed) curiousness about their lifestyle, which only enforces the stereotype of “LGBTs want to be special”.
Everyone should try to assume good intentions, especially for such sensitive topics.
This goes for all orientations and identities.
about 1 year ago
I have to agree…. ignorance doesn’t automatically translate into either “phobia” or hatred. While I would agree that most of these are rude and invasive, esp if you don’t know the person you’re talking to, none of them are truly hateful.
When I met the first few transgender people I know, I asked quite a few questions about their identity, SRS, should I call them gay or straight and why (that one still wraps my mind in knots if I think about it too much), and all sorts of other things. These questions didn’t come from any sort of fear or hatred, but out of an honest desire to understand… I’d never met anyone that was transgender and knew very little about them. Where better to get the answers to my questions then from the horse’s mouth?
Luckily, the girls and women I first met weren’t the type that would create this pic or I wouldn’t have the understanding I do now.
I may have been inadvertently rude with some of my questions, but really, if any group of people that’s outside of the social norm wants social acceptance, they have to be willing to answer questions like this to dis-spell the ignorance of those that aren’t like them. I’ve had to face similar lines of questioning about being gay from straight people, I know how annoying it can be, but I also know that the assumptions they’ll make if I don’t answer those questions will be far more damaging in the long term. As long as the questions come from an honest desire to understand, where’s the benefit in taking offense to them?
about 1 year ago
I have a cousin. Her name is Lindy today. I knew her as a boy named Graham. She’s a lovely lady, comfortable in her own skin, respected by her neighbours, and now, at last, understood to a great extent by her siblings.
I asked her the simple question when I phoned her for the first time in many years. “I think you are my cousin Graham. What do you prefer to be called nowadays?”
We discussed a great many things, including how impossible it is for her to work out what her sexuality is within the homosexual/heterosexual labelling society seeks to impose.
about 1 year ago
There was a time when anything other than a heteronormative orientation was looked upon as a form of immaturity or arrested development of one’s psycho-sexual make up. Now it appears that society at large is finally struggling to reach a new level of maturity. Better late than never. Of course ignorance is a passion greater than either love or hate and the religions of the world want to keep such ignorance alive.
about 1 year ago
Or we could just be open and honest with each other so that when someone say something you’re not really comfortable with, you can say so and tell them why. It’ll work. I promise!
about 1 year ago
What is interesting to me is the ways that gender non conformity and gay/bi sexuality intersect. Guys like me who are masculine on the outside and yet embracing of gender non-conformity in other ways or guys who identify as gay or queer but have an androdgenous/effeminate appearance. An identity that is both transgender and gay. It seems that Transgender is being more narrowly defined then it once was. It seems that Transsexual is becoming synonymous with Transgender rather then as one end of a Transgender continuum. Gender/Sexual Queer seems to be the word that best fits. Where do individuals fit who are happy with their genitals/secondary sexual characteristics but embrace androdgyony both internal and external and are attracted to the same gender. Somehow gender non-conforming gay men doesn’t seem quite right as a “label.” Ideas?
about 1 year ago
Why ask “What is your prefered pronoun?” when you could just ask for a name?
about 1 year ago
Not to seem like the black sheep, but I find things like this a little bit unnecessary. Were I a transsexual, I’d probably feel just as uncomfortable with people walking on eggshells to avoid hurting my feelings as I would with them slandering me. I mean, at least the latter is honest (not that I’m condoning hate, I don’t). I understand what the creator of the whole thing is trying to do, spreading awareness and tolerance and all. But it just seems a tad ridiculous. I mean, ‘preferred pronoun’? Really? Sometimes it’s better to focus less on badgering the rest of society to love and accept you, and more on developing yourself into enough of a confident, self-assured individual to eliminate the necessity for things like this.
about 1 year ago
Take a step back from the “issue” side and just accept the fact that you don’t have to agree with someone to respect them.
If you say you are a woman then you are a woman. I have no reason to second guess you.